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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Piece o' David"
Original Song Title:
"I Wanna Be Sedated"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Ramones
Parody Song Title:
"I Wanna Piece o' David"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Get your minds out of the gutter, people, this is a parody of Biblical proportions. OK, David did have a sex problem, but I assure you, Bathsheba will not be among the narrators here.
(Goliath)
Twenty, twenty, twenty feet taller than him!
I wanna piece o' David!
If he fights me, his life will be looking grim, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just put that scrawny kid against me, big bad Philistine!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, 'cause I'm feelin' kinda mean!
What is that in his fingers, yikes, I think that it's a sling!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Saul)
Twenty talents to the man who brings me his head!
I wanna piece o' David!
He will not be the king, I will see him dead, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just tell that prophet Samuel that he's really wrong!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, before David sings his song!
I can't control the country, my death now won't be long!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Absalom)
Twenty royal sons and I'm the first, you know!
I wanna piece o' David!
Solomon's his choice, but that's a real no-go, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just bring the tribes o' Israel over to my claim!
Hurry, hurry, hurry to the wood known as Ephraim!
I can't control the battle, and now Dad's men take aim!
Ow-ow-ow, ow, ow, owwww!
(Michelangelo Buonarroti)
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Twenty, twenty, twenty feet taller than him!
I wanna piece o' David!
If he fights me, his life will be looking grim, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just put that scrawny kid against me, big bad Philistine!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, 'cause I'm feelin' kinda mean!
What is that in his fingers, yikes, I think that it's a sling!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Saul)
Twenty talents to the man who brings me his head!
I wanna piece o' David!
He will not be the king, I will see him dead, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just tell that prophet Samuel that he's really wrong!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, before David sings his song!
I can't control the country, my death now won't be long!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Absalom)
Twenty royal sons and I'm the first, you know!
I wanna piece o' David!
Solomon's his choice, but that's a real no-go, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just bring the tribes o' Israel over to my claim!
Hurry, hurry, hurry to the wood known as Ephraim!
I can't control the battle, and now Dad's men take aim!
Ow-ow-ow, ow, ow, owwww!
(Michelangelo Buonarroti)
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
great job...slingin' ya fives
This slew me! (Oh and your mastery of the biblical narrative is impressive) 5 Books of the Torah for you!
Not just of Biblical proportions, but a Goliath of a parody! Thanks for dragging my mind out of the gutter, BTW. 555
Excellent parody, MP, but I have to nit-chip one of your facts. Absalom was older than Solomon, but he was David's third, not first, son.
This was ok
As it's stated in the book of AmIright 5:55, I saw that this was good.
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