we analyzed Tom's goolies,
when did this pair come down?
they all look just the same to me
hairy, small and round

are these from this guy outside?
I guess god only knows
is he a real transvestite?
wearing women's clothes

when you have a sex change,
these get hung up to dry
and we atempt to guess just
when you were not a guy

we roll them down the hillside
see them side by side
back in a jar of cyanide
the lid seals them inside

Tom speaks:

put them beside my violin
congas for all to beat
catgut for strings to screech with
and something to beat my meat

you know I never liked them
hanging, swinging down
always a little smelly
wrinkled, sad and brown

take your lab tests now then,
tell me my destiny
woman for all my life now,
or will they grow back on me?

we analyzed Tom's goolies,
when did this pair come down?
they all look just the same to me
hairy, small and round