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Song Parodies -> "Sixty Candles"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Candles"

Original Performer:

The Crests

Parody Song Title:

"Sixty Candles"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

My mother HATES this song! (And "Mack the Knife" by Bobby Darin.) But from now on, she gets to blame all the wacko things she does (some of which were handed down to yours truly, sad to say) on old age, rather than just her personality. It all evens out, for those of us who can't yet use the excuse.
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, Mama, whoa!
We love you so!

Sixty candles
make a great big light.
Might take all night
to blow them out tonight!
(Blow them out tonight!)

Blow out the candles.
Ask, and we'll help you.
The sooner that we'll all
have some cake to eat, too!
(Some cake to eat, too!)

You're sixty years old!
(Years old!)
If I may be so bold!
(So bold!)
I would never have
written this
if I'd done what I'm told!
(Done what I'm told!)

Sixty candles
in our hearts will glow.
You may hate this song.
But we love you so!
(But we love you so!)

You're older than dirt!
(Than dirt!)
At risk of getting hurt!
(Get hurt!)
But you are still
being so alert!
(Be so alert!)

Sixty candles
in our hearts will glow.
You may hate this song.
But we love you so!
But we love you...

Dad's not a Beatles fan, so when his birthday comes up, I'll resist the urge to do "Now You're Sixty-Four," even though he will be. And if Mom really is upset by this... I'll blame her other son, my evil twin Bernard. (Yes, she also knows he doesn't really exist.)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 1.8
Overall Rating: 1.8

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   19

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ravyn Rant - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
When my mom turned 62, my sister decided to put 62 candles on the cake...and light them. All. It was quite a sight, and it set off the smoke detector! Guess I should have just written her something like this instead. Fives for you and best wishes to your mom.
Ann Hammond - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't care for the os eaither, but I can't think of anything that wouldn't be better then hearing Happy Birthday that many times. I'm already sick of hearing it.
alvin rhodes - March 20, 2007 - Report this comment
loved the 'capable of being alert' line
2Eagle - March 21, 2007 - Report this comment
That's the age of all the teeny boppers who swooned over those silly songs. I don't think I liked any of them before The Beatles.

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