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Song Parodies -> "Have Yourself A Little Stinker Christmas"

Original Song Title:

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Carpenters

Parody Song Title:

"Have Yourself A Little Stinker Christmas"

Parody Written by:

William Hughes

The Lyrics

Everything mentioned in this song IS A TRUE STORY! The first two verses deal with the misadventures of Flavio DaSilva and Roger Woodward (The former, who lived in a Slum in Rio De Janeiro, Brazil) became a "Poster Child" for poverty in third-world countries when LIFE Magazine printed an article about his family's plight in 1961). When the article was printed it was revealed Flavio had a life-threatening disease. Readers sent thousands of dollars to the magazine to help him and his family. His family were given a home in a middle-class neighborhood, and Flavio was flown (First Class) from Rio De Janeiro, Brazil to the USA where he spent two years undergoing medical treatment at a Facility in Denver, Colorado. While he was in the US he had some misadventures including an interlude where his sponsors (A family who lived near the Hospital where Flavio was undergoing treatment, and who spoke his language (Portugese) were chosen to sponsor him, in return he spent weekends and holidays with them) On one weekend his host took him to a fancy restaurant where he ate in the same manner he did in Brazil, with his fingers (If you're a "Trekker" you know Klingons arent known for their culinary finesse)! A year earlier the latter had his fifteen minutes of fame when he and his sister were "shooed" from their house (It was his sister's birthday) and invited for a ride in a neighbor's boat. Upstream from the falls the boat moter conked out, and they were tossed in the rapids above the falls. His sister swam to shore where she was pulled ashore by two tourists. Roger and his neighbor were swept over Niagara Falls , and other than a few bumps and bruises emerged unscathed. His neighbor wasn't as fortunate, he drowned in the hydraulics below the falls. If you ever visit Niagara Falls they have an exhibit that tells the story of what is called "The Miracle at Niagara" Roger now lives in Huntsville where he's a Minister at a local Church. Last I heard he's Married, has at least one kid and probably has grandchildren as well. As for Flavio the author of the news article wrote an autobiography about him, last I heard he got married, had four children and now has at least two grandchildren.
Have yourself a Little Stinker Christmas
Mooch a First Class Flight
Eat like a Klingon
at a fancy restaurant tonight.

Have yourself a Little Stinker Christmas,
Drive your folks up a wall
take a swim
right over Niagara Falls.

We get around from place to place
and we get into your face
Remember the time I got on a plane
and spent the day in Maine.

When your folks go out on a trip
set them up for a hit.
Make them pay for Lobster
and Prime Rib
And have yourself
A little stinker Christmas now
The last two verses deal with a couple of my misadventures in my life. In 1986 I had the biggest financial windfall in my life. I was driving an Ice Cream Truck at the time, and on Labor Day I was driving my route, which included a small city park. A Church was holding their annual picnic, and whoever was supposed to bring the food never showed up. It took them less than an hour for them to empty my cooler. My commission was a little over $200 that day, over three times my average day. If that wasn't enough when I came home I opened the refrigerator (My parents left mu supper there for me to eat after returning home from work). and saw a wad of money rubber-banded to the plate, $450 dollars! The next morning I asked my dad what was the money for? he told me he spent Labor Day at the Race Track, and he won $4,500 on a Trifecta. I also found a little something splurge the money on (well, a little short of 1/3 of it). Driving to work I listened to the Radio, The Station announced an event they were holding the next day. They had chartered a Plane to fly those who participated from Detroit, Michigan to Portland, Maine. My route to work brought me alongside the station so I stopped there and paid about $125.00 for the event. (When I got up early the next morning I only told my folks I was leaving early because of an event the station was holding, and I wouldn't be back until 11:00 PM. The plane left Detroit at 7:30 AM, at 9:30 we arrived in Portland. All of us boarded buses that took us to the waterfront. There, we boarded a boat that took us on a four-hour cruise along Maine's Intracoastal waterway from Portland to Boothbay Harbor, where we had an all-you-can-eat Lobster Clambake. After that we went to Freeport, Maine which is home to LL Bean's "Superstore". That evening we returned to Detroit. Just before boarding the plane I had the opportunity to purchase a half-dozen live Maine Lobsters for less than $5.00 each! when I returned home that evening I was asked how was the event, and I told them it was a lot of fun. My dad saw the crate containing the lobsters, when he asked them where I got them I said "Maine" He replied "Yes, they are Maine Lobsters, where did you get them from?" Once again I said "Maine". I showed him the flyer announcing the event I'd just returned from and he just about flipped his lid! I responded by saying "You knew I was going to find something to splurge on" I also told him I had banked almost $500 to save for "That Rainy Day". This wasn't the only occasion I found a way to make my folks freak out. In 1974 while spending Easter Weekend out of town my parents told me they were going out for a night on the town. They told me to put my supper on the hotel bill. I asked them could eat anything I wanted, and they said "yes". After they left I played that age-old game us kids do called "Bug Your Parents" and SOCKED IT TO THEM! Instead of going to the coffee shop I went to a fancy restaurant that was part of the resort and had a full-course meal! The look on my dad's face was PRICELESS, and he couldn't do a thing to me because he gave me permission. The next time they went out I got a enough money for a sandwich, side and a soda and told if I wanted anything fancy make sure the difference comes out of MY pocket! PS. When I showed my boss the flyer he responded and said "FERRIS BUELLER, EAT YOUR HEART OUT! (I worked the following Sundays, which I normally took off. After all, I had to "Borrow" a day, so I had to repay for it. the first Sunday was principal, the second Sunday was Interest.

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