There's just a few more hours, that's all the time we've got.
A few more hours, my stomach's in a knot!

There's touchdowns scored all over the nation.
And we've gotta get some of them in just a few more hours.
Waaaah!

I'm getting clobbered on Thanksgiving!
Ding, dong, the bells are gonna toll!
Protect the passer!
Let's have a gasser!
Can't get the ball across that goal!

I'm going through a day of losing!
Screwed up and fumbling every ball!
Cheerleaders, kiss me!
Come ease my misery!
We lose this game come every fall!

And if we're running, we will not score!
And if we're passing, didn't work before!

For I'm getting clobbered on Thanksgving!
Losing to our rivals is a crime!
Kick up a field goal
before we hit the meal bowl!
And beat that rival team!
Beat that rival team!
For God's sake, beat that rival team this time!

We're getting clobbered on Thanksgiving!
Ding, dong, the bells are gonna toll!
Push me and work me! Stuff me with turkey!
Can't get the ball across that goal!

We're going through a day of losing!
Screwed up and fumbling every ball!
Some guy who's able:
Help us run the table!
We lose this game come every fall!

And if we're tacklin, can't bring 'em down!
Look how he's coaching! Get him out of town!

For we're getting clobbered on Thanksgiving!
Ding, dong, the bells are gonna chime!
Sauce of cranberry!
Throw the Hail Mary!
But beat that rival team!
Beat that rival team!
For God's sake, beat that rival team...
this... time!