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Song Parodies -> "Sexual Harassment"

Original Song Title:

"Some Enchanted Evening"

Original Performer:

South Pacific / Rodgers and Hammerstein

Parody Song Title:

"Sexual Harassment"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

(TT: By overwhelming popular demand -- ok, some of the demand was from TT, but only *some* ;) -- Sheeeeeee's BACK! )

Lot of this going around these days, in politics, business, sports -- so here's your warning guide.
(FG: And remember, folks, TT literally wrote the book on sexual harassment! ;)

Great OS video here.

Sexual harassment
Never grope a stranger
Worker? Greater danger!
Boss, not allowed: touch "moon"

Don't carnally "know"
Like stallion in pen
No strumming the "G", sir
Refrain: coup de main   [1]

Strumpet panting, heaving
"Incorrect": Pol', gaffe-ing
Don't go near your staffing
Although you're "wowed": bazoom

A blight, when one night,
Deranged, as eye gleams
Aground ever after
One fling: fall, your dreams

Is it worth pain, twit?
Con man selling lie?
Foolish, your reasons
Best "laid" plans, awry!

Press encamped at evening
Then, maligned, you’ll rue "love"
"Spineless heel", they'll call you
Wife, cross: Avowed, "You’re doomed"

You tried and denied
And fake: "Her? Unknown!"
All saw through your lies
Gone: your team; all hopes "blown"

Don't you come 'round her
Fever, fervent, flow?
Dunce, don't dare pound her
Beaver? ... Let ... it ... go!



[1] "coup de main" -- (Fr.) a surprise attack. You know, like someone suddenly shoving your head towards his crotch ....

© 2012 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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John Barry - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Dumb Hermanic beaving.
Peter Andersson - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
"Never grope a stranger" sounds like something I'd like to see as a stand alone title, you know, cos that way it kinda implies that with non-strangers it's OK...
Patrick - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
The above admonition applies "primarily" to Republicans. Glad to see our favorite menage a deux return.
Michael Pacholek - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
It's songs like these that remind me that, in his second term, Barack Obama will replace Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court.
Bill Clinton - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick, what am I, chopped liver? ... Even with consent, the law is that a more powerful person, like, say, the POTUS, with an intern = implied use of power to coerce, since she can be fired at will. ("Will", get it? That kind of humor makes me a Starr!)
Anthony Wiener - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Patrick is biased against Democrats! I'm every bit as good at harassment as any Repub, and I can do it electronically! .... hmmm, maybe Patrick is actually pro-Dem? (President Pro-Dem?) Well, anyway, I'm in good - I mean bad -- company, and expect a full retraction and an apology!
David Wu (former D-OR) - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
John Barry: Why does Herman get all the glory? I resigned from the House of Representatives after being accused of making unwanted sexual advances toward a fundraiser's daughter... That's dumb on two counts, since fundraisers make our world go around.
Eric Massa (former D-NY) - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
I want in on this action, too. I resigned to avoid an ethics investigation after admitting to groping and tickling of multiple *male* staffers. I even told those *** at F*x N*ws that, "not only did I grope [a staffer], I tickled him until he couldn't breathe". A little longer, and I'd have gotten the Edward M. Kennedy Manslaughter Award! ...... (man- slaughter, not woman-slaughter - ha!)
Tim Mahoney (D-FL) - Irony Award - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
How's this for irony: I was elected to the seat of Mark Foley, who had resigned following sexual harassment charges from his congressional interns. I ran on a campaign promise to make "a world that is safer, more moral." (C'mon, I'm a politican! Of course I lie to get elected!)

In October 2008, I admitted to placing my mistress on my staff ("on my staff" -- this stuff *kills* -em! No, *really*!) then fired her, saying, "You work at my pleasure." ("Pleasure" -- I have a fallback career in stand-up comedy!) then admitted to multiple other affairs.
Gary Condit (D-CA) - Hypocrisy Award - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Yo! My affair with 23-year-old intern Chandra Levy was exposed after Levy disappeared. Her body was found a year later. In 2008, an ex-felon unrelated to me was charged with her murder (mwahaha!) ... And to think that I had often demanded that Bill Clinton "come clean" about his affair with Monica Lewinsky! :-D
John Edwards, Senator and Wanna-Be VP (D-NC) - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Excuuuuuse me all... (cough) (cough) ... My wife is dying of cancer, I'm shagging an actress, knock her up, and pay a flunkey to confess to being the father.

You all are pikers! Especially the Republicans, I tell you, pikers! I'm so vain, I really bet this song is about me! So there!
Fiddlegirl - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
@ JB: It's a shame that the possibilities are so seemingly endless, isn't it?

@ Peter Andersson: Hahaha! Thanks for v/c :)

@ Patrick: Truly enough blame to go around... Thanks for v/c! :)

@ MP: Great. Have a cigar.

@ the rest of our selfless public servants: No hard feelings.
Andy Primus - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
"Incorrect": Pol', gaffe-ing

Aren’t all the pols at it? I thought that was one of the perks of the job.

I saw a story about that Newt chap. Something about his second wife being the woman he had been having an affair with behind the back of his first wife. Then his third wife being the woman he had been having an affair with behind the back of the second wife – and at the same time, he was knocking Clinton for having an affair. What a hypocrite!
There was also something about him being involved in a tax fraud. And he now wants to be your President – short memories? Or affairs with the staff and tax evasion are OK? He sounds like a right sleaze.

Don’t know anything about Edwards, but is that bit about him paying a flunkey true? He sounds like another sleaze. Have you got any top pols that aren’t?

I didn’t know you use twit over there – I thought that was another UK only
John Jenkins - February 10, 2012 - Report this comment
Best "laid" plans, indeed! Great line.

Very good parody, but there really is no specific political perspective attributed to this parody and all of the commenters want to use this parody to malign politicians they dislike.
Bill Clinton - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Fiddlegirl, "have a cigar"! Ha! Good one! and "hard feelings" .... You sound like a fun kinda' girl. The Secretary, what's-her-name, is off to China, or India, or Arkansas, or someplace, pretty soon -- you wanna have a drink some time?

Mr. Primus, of course it's one of the perks! I got away with it, didn't I? ... and hypocrisy is a requirement for public office. I even lied under oath and got away with it. ..... Yeah, Johnny E paid off his buddy to claim paternity. Look it up in Wikipedia.

"He sounds like another sleaze. Have you got any top pols that aren’t?" ..... A few, but they never get elected. In fact, that's *why* they never get elected, heh heh!

Mr. Jenkins, only John, Patrick, and Michael. Most were coming down on Patrick and Michael for implying that this was a GOP-only trait, and you're right, this was a non-partisan parody. And one to John for singling out the pizza guy who just wanted a little piece.
Michael Pacholek's penis - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
I wish the loser I'm attached to could sexually harass somebody, but unfortunately I'm so small and flaccid that he can only make lame political comments to get a thrill up his leg.
Michael Pacholek - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
I realize I'm not the most stable person on this website, but I have never fantasized about wanting to be another man's schlong. Look at the bright side: You can tell lies about the Obama Administration for another 5 years.
"It Seems Like Okd Times...." - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
@ The Remaining Parts Of Michael Pacholek: Well played, Sir, and with admirable restraint.

Michael, we may disagree at times (OK, that was an understatement), but props for not returning personal attack in kind (other than cleverly throwing back the commenter's nick). . I'd say *not* to delete the comment from the self-identified d*ckhead (Zing!) but rather let it stay, as an example of an invalid argument by irrelevant insult (argumentum ad hominem).

I'm Tommy Turtle, and I disapprove of MPp's comment, and approve of MP's reply. Time will tell whether the last statement is true.
Tommy Turtle - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
Extinguished Members of Congress (sometimes, inappropriate congress - heh! ;), disgraced ex-Presidents, John Barry, Peter Andersso, Patrick, Michael Pacholek, Andy Primus, John Jenkins, Undistinguished "member" ;-D, thanks all for your comments and contributions.
Mark Folewey/Larrewey Craig - February 11, 2012 - Report this comment
FG™ &TT®:
Wonderful parody righteously lamb'pooning all those unspeakably hypocritical power-mad slobs.
'Best laid' my fav line but the whole thing was jam-pumped to the point that nary a syllable was wasted (waisted?)!
And the guest commentary—the cherry on pop!
Pet™-y Page [1] - February 12, 2012 - Report this comment
Mark Folewey/Larrewey Craig: Thanks for v/c, and LOL @ the comment's, uh, "strong finish", heh !

Ewe are always so clever in wordplay, but Frank-ly, most of those guys would have been in a lot less trouble if they'd taken it to the sheep! I've been trying to tell them that for years, but alas, it falls on deaf ears ...

Mr. Craig, ewe - I mean, you -- got your own private lam'pooning at the time. This parody:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/raypetersonelvispresley3.shtml
brought suggestions from alvin and McKludge to do ewe and Craig. Ever responsive, TT provided the next day:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/abba157.shtml

This one was commercially produced and syndicated to about 700 radio stations across the country:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles2302.shtml


[1] Reference to the 1983 Congressional Page sex scandal,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1983_congressional_page_sex_scandal
Christie Marie M - February 14, 2012 - Report this comment
Welcome back, FG and TT!!! Nice to see you write again! Sorry to have missed this..was working on a parody of my own and things been going on when I prepared for V-Day. Sexual harassment not a pretty picture! Great point you made, as well as punning out the lines! Well anyways, hope you had a great V-Day as well and good job as always! 555. For some reason when I read this satire it got me thinking again about the Tiger (Woods) escaping to the wild, going in heat!!! LOL!! Don't know why.
Tommy Turtle - February 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Christie Marie M: Sorry to have missed your comment -- and you've been missed, too! .... Sports, politics, whatever, men are men .... so yeah, Tiger "in heat" (LOL) was pretty much the same situation, even if they weren't staffers, etc. Thanks for v/c!

p. s.: Hope V-day wasn't VD-day!!!
2Eagle - March 13, 2012 - Report this comment
When you meet a stranger you'll be sorry!

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