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Song Parodies -> "U.S.-Wide Solar 'Clips'"

Original Song Title:

"A Cock-Eyed Optimist"

Original Performer:

South Pacific (Musical)

Parody Song Title:

"U.S.-Wide Solar 'Clips'"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Can the entire U.S. population fit into the 70-mile-wide path of totality during today's solar eclipse?
When the sky's dark as night, corona's yellow,
I regret that a cloud might intervene;
So I called on a mete'orologist
To be sure there'd be pure skies on the scene.

I have heard people rant and rave and bellow
That the sun out-of-sight is swell o'erhead,
But I'm told by my ophthalmologist
That I can't look right in, so I dread.

I fear that humans race
To find a viewing place;
Some haven't very far to go.
But ev'ry lodging still
Is jacking up its bill,
And telling me there just ain't no.

I could say that I'd rather just stay mellow
Than to steer for "in" dwelling, rent apart;
But I'm stuck here alone
With a thin smart-phone,
And I won't see the moon cross sun's heart!
Not its heart...

Well, most of us will have to depend on the Internet or TV for viewing totality.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - August 21, 2017 - Report this comment
"Is swelling fees at will" fits the original 13th line better than "Is jacking up its bill,"
Dana Mathewson - August 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Wonderful, Barry! The music from South Pacific was the first Broadway music I ever heard, as a kid.

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