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Song Parodies -> "I'd Grown Accustomed To the Race"

Original Song Title:

"I've Grown Accustomed To Her Face"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Rex Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"I'd Grown Accustomed To the Race"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The Pennant Race, that is. Again, parodying the entire "My Fair Lady" soundtrack is not a goal, it's just working out that way. Our narrator is a fan of the Baltimore Orioles, who led the American League East for most of the first half of the season, but then went into a nosedive, and are, at this writing, ten and a half games out of first, and have just fired their manager. Why am I picking on the Orioles? Because the song works better from their perspective than from that of the Yanks or Red Sox. Our O's fan opens the sports page of the Baltimore Sun, looks at the standings, and...
Damn!
Damn!
Damn!
DAMN!

I'd grown accustomed to the race.
The standings made my day begin.
But the Orioles did swoon.
Left me raving like a loon.
I smiled, now frown.
They're up, now down.
In second place, 'twould be nice now.
Look at the state they now are in.
I was supremely full of vigor
and content way back in May.
Surely they could make me
feel that way again.

No way.

I'd grown accustomed to the wins.
Accustomed to the cheers.
Accustomed to the race.

Lee Mazzilli.
What an infantile idea!
What a thoughtless, stupid, brainless thing to do!
We regret it.
We regret it!
'Twas doomed before the first pitch of the year!

I can see it now:
For Lee, this game was way too hard.
He had never managed in the bigs before.
I can see it now:
Disaster there in Camden Yards
and the Yanks and Sox are beating on the door.
He tried to do things Joe Torre taught him.
And now he's packing up his stuff instead.
Couldn't play the guys Angelos bought him
and our team's already been put to bed!

In two months or so
in their uniforms so gray
they will close the season looking like a dork.
They'll go home, and, lo
the World Series, it will play
and again, the thing will be there in New York!

Poor old B-More!
How simply frightful!
How humiliating!
Not insightful!

How poignant it'll be on that inevitable night
When the Yanks and Sox are dueling for the flag!
A Boston Glober's column!
Johnny Damon looks like Gollum!
Will I cheer the Sox or give in to The Bronx?
Figure out which one, the Pennant, now deserves?
Shall I stay away or cheer my poor heart out?

Well, I'm a splendid baseball fan.
The sort who never could
never would
snub the postseason because I held a grudge.
Yes, a splendid baseball fan.

But!
Neither team shall I then back
if they were crawling on their knees!
I will stay true to my soul
and to my shabby Orioles!
I'll wait through winter even if I freeze!

Lee Mazzilli.
HA!

But old Cal Ripken, he would play
at shortstop every day.
And Frank and Brooks
and Palmer's looks
off in the distance to me now.
Rafael Palmeiro's sin...

I'm very grateful for Eddie Murray
and the hits that he would get!
Surely we could have some guys
who would get them again.

And yet...

I'd grown accustomed to first place.
It's something... we're no longer there...
Accustomed to the race.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 0
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   1
 0
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 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Jenkins - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Even with Miguel Tejada,Their winning streak is now at nada.

Well rhymed and well done, Michael, except for the line about the New York World Series. In another two or three weeks, you will be able to re-write this parody from the perspective of a Yankee fan.
alvin rhodes - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
great job...i was sorry about the decline of the Os....i mean, boston had their year , and i hate the yankees....mazzilli looked like a genius the first half...oh well, can't fire the team...5s for you
Rick C - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job, MP. That's the way I've felt EVERY year since I've been a Red Sox fan. Every year but last year, that is. If they don't make it this year, I will not be sad. At least I lived to see it happen...even if it was only once. Oh yeah, fives for your parody.
Dee Range - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
555...what John Jenkins said. If Torre gets THAT pitching staff to the Series, they will re-make THE MIRACLE WORKER, with Torre as Ann Bancroft. The Yankee rotation is almost as bad as the Rangers...and that's sayin' something.
john ulvang - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Sorry about your team. Our Royals did the same thing a couple years ago. started out on fire and went to hell. Just hope the Orioles don't nosedive as bad for as long. But if the Orioles sucking inspires work like this, amen. you're batting .555 here
Johnny D - August 09, 2005 - Report this comment
WWSJGS? (What Would Stephen Jay Gould Say?)
2Eagle - August 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Great parody of the original song - even down to the damns.
Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
What would Stephen Jay Gould say? Well, being a Yankee fan who lived in Boston (he taught at Harvard), he'd probably approve.

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