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Song Parodies -> "Why Can't the Bushes?"

Original Song Title:

"Why Can't the English?"

Original Performer:

Rex Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Why Can't the Bushes?"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Like I said, I'm not trying to parody the entire "My Fair Lady" soundtrack. But if it works out that way...
Look at him, he drags us to the gutters!
The press buys every syllable he utters!
The people, all along we have been strung
by his cold-blooded twisting of the English tongue!


Heavens, what a sound!

This is what the U.S. population
calls an accurate pronunciation?

(Oh, come, sir. I think you picked a poor example!)

Have I?

Here them in the Texas dust
dropping G's as if they must
speaking that way without any qualm!

You, sir, did you go to school?
(What, y'all think that Ah'm a fool?)
Well, no one taught you "I'm" instead of "Ah'm"!

Hear the Georgians speak, or worse
Mississippians converse!
I'd rather hear Ms. Federline sing flat!

Morons, speech to make me moan!
Just like this one!
(Bring it own!)
"Bring it own"?
I ask you, sir, what sort of speech is that?

It's "nucular" and "bring it own" that's a disgrace
not just the lies that come out of his face!

Why can't the Bushes teach their children how to speak?
They cruise through education always in a fit of pique.
If you spoke as Dubya does instead of the way you do
why, you might be seen as stupid, too!

(I beg your pardon, sir!)

A President's way of speaking absolutely classifies him.
The moment Bush talks
he shows that's what should have disqualified him!
Smart, thinking President, we'll have to wait to get.
Why can't the Bushes learn to
set a good example
of proper spech for our President?
His father thinks it would not be prudent!
There even are places where such a man could just be sent!
Well, in America, we would then be content!

Why can't the Bushes teach their children how to speak?
Tom Jefferson spoke Italian!
Jim Garfield, he knew Greek!
In France, every Frenchman learns his language from A to Zed...

Well, the French already know that Bush doesn't have the capacity to learn proper English
in his head!

Arabians learned our language
with the speed of summer lightning
but Bush tried to ignore this
with results that were so frightening!
But use proper English, Dubya thinks that's you're a freak!
Why can't George Dubya

Why can't George Dubya

to speak!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
And why can't the Bushes learn to govern?
Ravyn Rant - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Lover-ly, Michael, simply lover-ly.
Vincent Miskell - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job. Without a script, Bush is even more inarticulate. Don't worry about the 1 votes--some right-winger doesn't like his prez being made fun of.
John Jenkins - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
This semi-right winger has to give you 5s. It does disappoint me that President Bush's pronounciation is not better, but I'd like to point out that he is like democracy - for all of their flaws - they are still better than the alternatives.
Michael Pacholek - March 01, 2005 - Report this comment
So who are "the alternatives," Jenk? Al Gore and John Kerry were two really good alternatives. OK, it appears to be a rather tenable position that Albert Arnold Gore Junior may have been somewhat over-extended in the patterns of his speaking comma... but every time Bush opens his lie-loaded mouth, I wanna put him in... a lock box.
Stuart McArthur - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
excellent Michael - looking forward to Rain In Spain - 555
Kristof Robertson - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
It's great to see a Bush parody focussing on something other than his rotten politics. Great job, Mike..555
Michael Pacholek - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Stuart: Being from the other side of the world, you won't know who Edwin Newman was. He was an NBC journalist and a curmudgeon who complained about the decline of the English language. He once guested on "Saturday Night Live" wondering, with Joe Piscopo as Tom Snyder, "Why can't the networks teach their anchors how to speak?" Tending bar for them was Brad Hall -- now best known as Julia Louis-Dreyfus' husband, they met as SNL cast members -- and he sang, "All I want is a desk somewhere, 30 minutes of network air, someone to spray my hair, oh, wouldn't I be newsworthy?" Newman asked him to deliver the news of the day, and he came up with "Iranians' pains come mainly from Khomeini" and "Terrain in Maine is stained with acid rain."
Stuart McArthur - March 02, 2005 - Report this comment
That is briiliant stuff - I can see why you'd remember it - we actually get SNL here on cable but they're old shows - still some gems in there though, and often all the more watchable for being a bit out of date - I got hooked on Steve Martin from his early SNL stuff, and still have it all on tape, eg Family Feud etc....

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