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Song Parodies -> "Hymn to Dem"

Original Song Title:

"A Hymn to Him"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Rex Harrison

Parody Song Title:

"Hymn to Dem"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Some of you have tried to parody an entire album. Have any of you tried to parody an entire Broadway musical? Me either, and I wouldn't recommend trying, but this is the fifth "My Fair Lady" song I've done. (The musical has 13 songs... with lyrics, anyway, plus one instrumental.) As for this song: Imagine two Democrats sipping their brandy around the Harvard campus... but this hifaluting setting doesn't make them any less accurate.
What in all of heaven could have prompted them to switch
after all the triumphs with our Bill?
What could obsessed them?
What could have possessed them?
I do not understand them, never will.

Red States are irrational, that's all there is to that!
Their heads are full of cotton, hay and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating, vacillating
calculating that the terrorists don't hurt us like marrying fags!

Why can't a Repub be more like a Dem?
Dems are so honest, our deals new and square?
Eternally noble, historically fair.
Who never would accept a tax so very flat?
Well, why can't a Repub
be like that?

Why does every one do what the others do?
Can't a Repub learn to use his head?
Why do they do everything to Falwell true?
Why can't they try it to his Father instead?

Why can't a Repub take after a Dem?
Dems are so pleasant, so easy to please.
So friendly to labor, resistant to sleaze.

Would you be slighted if I tried to raise your taxes?
(Of course not!)
Would you be livid if I rarely graced a pew?
(No, sir!)
Would you be wounded if I'm truthful grinding axes?
(Never!)
Well, why can't a Repub
be like YOU?

One Dem in a million may fool around.
Now and then, there's one who's not too straight.
One, perhaps, with lobbyists, he'll drool around.
But, by and large, it's best to have blue States!

Why can't a Repub behave like a Dem?
Dems are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A surplus in budget, we sometimes do find.

If I spent bucks on education, would you bellow?
(Of course not!)
If I forgot your pork pet project, would you fuss?
(No, sir!)
Would you complain if I appoint a young black fellow?
(Never!)
Well, why can't the Repubs
be like US!

Ann Coulter!
You're a Repub!

Why can't a Repub be more like a Dem?
Dems are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to point out all Bush's mishaps.
Ready to save this land from that elitist bum.
Why can't a Repub
be less dumb?

Why is thinking something Repubs never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Pandering down to bigots is all that they do!
Why don't they confess that they've always lied!

Why can't a Repub behave like a Dem?
If I was a Repub, who'd voted for Bush
and saw how he kicked us all right in the tush
would I start cursing like a sailor's stack a-blowing?
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I not say that hell is where this land is going?
Why can't a Repub
be like ME?



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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 0
 
 5   4
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Melanie Lee - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Very, very, very good! Just you wyte, Billy Clinton, just you wyte! 4-5-5. BTW, John A. Barry wrote a list of West Side Story parodies based upon Arnold Governator, called "East Reich Story". Look here: http://www.amiright.com/parody/authors/johnabarry.shtml "Ah-mare-ree-ka" Parody by John A. Barry http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/bernsteinsondheim0.shtml "Maria" Parody by John A. Barry http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/bernsteinsondheim1.shtml
Offender - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny for all the wrong reasons. I'd been trying to come up with something like this myself...
Ingeborg S. Nordén - February 22, 2005 - Report this comment
A straight-ticket 5 vote from me...good overview of the two-party system in general, not just stereotyped Bush-bashing.

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