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Song Parodies -> "Oldman, Actor"

Original Song Title:

"Old Man River"

Original Performer:

Paul Robeson

Parody Song Title:

"Oldman, Actor"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"Weird Brutes Were Played By Walken," but weirder ones by Gary Oldman. Will someone write a parody for John Malkovich?
There's an actor I call mighty creepy.
That is Oldman, I don't like to see.
What does he care if his roles are trouble?
Who does he scare in a film PG?

Oldman, actor, that Oldman, actor
He just plays villains, he just ain't chillin'.
He just keeps sneerin', he keeps on sneerin' along.

He played Lee Oswald, he chased Doc Lechter
He played Dracula, a vampire specter.
That Oldman, actor, he just keeps sneerin' along.

You and me, ten bucks we paid.
Bodies lie dead, we're so afraid!
Bite that neck! Kick that tail!
The good guys gotta put this guy in jai-ai-ail!

But they don't get him, we keep on cryin'.
We sit there shiv'rin', his victims dyin'.
And Oldman, actor, he just keeps sneerin' along.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Know 1 can hear you dream - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Not to mention that doctor that turned into some sort of human/spider hybrid in "Lost in Space", doesn´t get much weirder that that. :-) 555 scary-gary summer-autumn-winter-and-spring roles for you, and him.
Johnny D - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
And as actors named Oldman go, this one's Oldmanner than most.
alvin rhodes - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
nice job, though, gary probably wouldn't like it...5s
John Jenkins - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever title and parody, MP. The only Oldman movies that I have seen are Air Force One and The Scarlet Letter, and he was a good villain in both.
The Thought Police - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow! There's like ,ten parodies done by you you on this site today ! I'm glad you got here after the crash.IMHO the film Gary did with Jean Reno and whats-her-face from Episode One was his creepiest ever! 555 !
The Thought Police - August 03, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoops ! While reading the list ,I thought I was reading one of Terrence Tuckers many parodies today,and thought I saw his name next to this one in the list ! my compliments (and apologies!) to you both ,Mike and Terr.
Melanie Lee - February 18, 2014 - Report this comment
What, no mention of Sirius Black?
Melanie Lee - February 20, 2014 - Report this comment
Funny parody, made me laugh; slightly off on the pace and syllable stresses; 4-5-5. I didn't see the movies you mentioned, but I did see the HP movies and 2 of the Batman movies. Hey: the movie The Book of Eli (2010) starred Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman. One is Sirius (Serious) Black; the other is Gary Oldman. :D (Better to hear that joke than read it.)

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