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Song Parodies -> "(How Much is) That AR When It's on Sale?"

Original Song Title:

"(How Much is) That Doggie in the Window?"

Original Performer:

Patti Page

Parody Song Title:

"(How Much is) That AR When It's on Sale?"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Inspired by AFW's parody :)
How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
The one with the Picatinny rails
How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
I don‘t want to pay full retail

I live in strict Blue State California,
Might buy single-shot AR-clone
Mag is low 10-shot, has collapsing butt-stock,
But in .223, fit for a kill-zone!

How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
The one with the Picatinny rails
How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
I don‘t want to pay full retail

I don't want the old Ruger Mini
I don't want .22LR guns
I don't want WW2-era vintage
Want M-16 look-alike for shooting fun

How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
The one with the Picatinny rails
How much is that AR when it‘s on sale?
Need to order 30 (rd mag) by mail…

Now (last hurdle)

Get DOJ to approve sale!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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Patrick - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Saw a fellow at the show last Saturday who had just paid $1200 for one of those oddities with the round handguards and a flat top upper receiver. He spotted another one with better features so he was trying to sell the $1200 rifle for what he had in it. And I saw a man approach him with serious intent to buy. So I've no doubt he turned it, but whether he got the other rifle or what he had to pay, I don't know. Kansas and Missouri are semi free states as far as semiautomatic rifles are concerned. Just a federal form for dealer purchase. Private sales are not restricted. I feel sorry for folks in California who have to accept mutilated rifles and abominations such as fixed magazine AR-15's with weird nubs instead of grips. I've heard that the Brits allow AR-15 lever actions. That has to be a mechanical trick of the first order. BBC News this morning showed Los Angeles residents turning in their AR-15 and AK-47 rifles for $200 grocery coupons. They could get easy $500 for the AK and $1500 for an AR in Kansas City. Cabelas is sold out of .223. Still has plenty of 7.62x39mm and 9mm. Some M1 Carbine, but I'm not sure I'd trust Russian steel case in that caliber.
Rob Arndt - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
For some reason people think Californians are severely restricted with firearms but that is just not the case. In Sacramento I can buy AK and AR clones in 7.62x39 and 5.56x45mm all day. SKS rifles are available too as well as vintage WW2 Mausers, Nagants, Springfields, and sometimes Enfields! What the Govt. did was ban lots of foreign weapons in these calibers and end .50 cal ammo sales. Ammunition sales also are recorded and there are limits. But the stores are full of auto-pistols in 9mm-.45 cal, tactical shotguns with pistol grips, and "sporting" rifles that look like assault weapons as well as "hunting" rifles that can beat Tac Team snipers in .300, .308, and .338! The .50 cals are gone but they were expensive toys anyway that averaged around $5-6k. Online, there are a lot of restrictions to sell to CA and many accessories are NOT shipped here. But that doesn't prevent CA residents from going to Nevada, Arizona, NM, and Texas picking up items and driving them back! As for the LA gun buy-backs for groceries... yeah, lots of turns-ins with no questions asked by LAPD, and yet there are est. 750,000 armed gang members in LA against roughly 40,000 police! Any guns turned in won't make a dent in the number of firearms in S Central LA alone! Anyone tries to invade California would face massive amounts of firepower in all forms. So why is it that these massacres are occuring in other states? I have had lots of arms of all types and never bothered anyone. Most everywhere I've lived my neighbors all had/have guns. No big deal here. An AK or AR means little to nothing. I want a Nikonov AN-94 for ultimate defense but even the Secret Service had a hard time obtaining examples from Russia! The German HK G-36 is great but suffers that German complexity issue. Any Colt risks jamming and AKs/MAK-90s are under the table sales for around $350-500... more with the 75-100 rd drum mags. Also, I'd never risk my life with any bullpup, no matter how good ;-)
AFW - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Guns galore..soon mortars and tanks will be available to the generall public
Patrick - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Not sure where I'd shoot a mortar. A tank would be fun, but who could afford the gas? But I like your optimistic assessment of the immediate future. I work for an auction company that sells firearms. We have to get a special permit to send a gun to California. A lot of online dealers won't sell to California at all. I guess the secret is trying to figure out which laws are for real, and which are just symbolic gestures. I used to like Lee Enfield rifles, I'd rather deal with danger at 200 meters than at 20. Ammo has gotten too expensive and hard to find. One friend of mine thinks the older guns are going to go down in price for a while as all the money goes into "black" rifles. The 100-round AR magazines that the libs are wailing about tend to jam. That's why the Colorado shooter dropped his. Shotgun shells are still available in abundance, but I'm starting to see the better .22 Long Rifle disappearing. What to buy next? Trying to find some .455 Webley. One supplier's web site says he expects some next month, but I think Hornady is going to put all its effort into .223 and nothing else is going to be produced until Feinstein goes on her rampage.
WCJ - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Personally, I have hoplophobia (fear of firearms and all artillery.) After all I am a savage child, "NOT A SOLDIER!!" and blowguns, are the only type of guns I will touch, or ever get near or use!! I also think that guns, are the worst invention that was ever made, and if I was able to wish one creation off the Earth, never to return again, it would be them.

I am sorry if this offends anyone who may think otherwise than me. :-( But I do however like this parody Rob, although since I stay away 50 miles from the shadow of guns/ammo, and don't know much of anything except what they are built to do, and it's only one thing, "KILL!!"

So, "LOCK AND LOAD!!" three 5's for your parody!! :-) 555! So sayth Wild Child Jin, which for you new comers, "Jin" is pronounced, (Djinn). and "is not" a user, trade, or alias name, it is a description ending with my real name "Jin Kozee Nature" ;-)
WCJ - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
AFW: I'll look at your parody tomorrow. Since Rob found it so inspirational, I am sure I will too! :-)
Rob Arndt - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
WCJ, what's up??? Miss you and your parodies! Anything on a MJ or JJ parody coming up??? Please write something soon and post, your friend Rob :)
Vault Dweller - December 27, 2012 - Report this comment
Funny how the descriptions of California I'm getting make it look more and more like a cross between the world of the Mad Max movies and the Fallout games every day. (A crazy desert land where tattooed thugs in black leather roam around preying on the weak and an anarchistic wasteland where you can get all manner of drugs and weaponry imaginable if you have the cash for it, respectively.)

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