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Song Parodies -> "Let Me Cross The Bridge!"

Original Song Title:

"Cross Over The Bridge"

Original Performer:

Patti Page

Parody Song Title:

"Let Me Cross The Bridge!"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Some things never change. When gangs in Seattle and Pittsburgh smash Starbuck's franchises and assault police during G-20 conferences, they are lionized as "anti-globalization activists expressing a point of view". When mobs of thugs rob, burn, and riot in London, we are told that it is the legitimate and totally proper response to "oppression by the British system". Now we see the Occupy Wall Street (and soon to be Occupy Anywhere) demonstrators vowing to disrupt and bring down...fill in the blank! I write this from the viewpoint of an average person who is just trying to make it to his low-paying over-taxed job...and can't get there because these warriors are blocking the Brooklyn Bridge. Finally, the only two previous takes on this OS were by JAB and AFW...better company than I deserve. ;D

I see a crowd of people. It's - that Occupy Wall Street.
They're chanting angry slogans and their words are full of heat.
They're calling ev'ry wealthy man an evil heartless jerk,
But that's not why I'm uptight. They have blocked my way to work!

Let me cross the bridge! Let me cross the bridge!
Is this protest causing problems? Yes, more than a smidge.
'Though you will not hear me blaming,
This group needs a little taming.
People - let me cross the bridge.

They're out there screaming "capital" and greed has caused the shame.
A single act of vi-o-lence could set this mob aflame.
And 'though I have great sympathy for all the unemployed,
If I can't get to work again I will be quite annoyed.

Let me cross the bridge! Let me cross the bridge!
They have turned Lower Manhattan - into Heartbreak Ridge.
For the mob has vowed to mass there
While the Prez calls for "class warfare".
Brothers - let me cross the bridge.

There's lots more press and cable news - than had been there before.
I see Susan Sarandon and - hey look! There's Michael Moore!
I'm sure some share my greivances. My heart goes out and yet,
If I can't get to work my taxes won't help pay the debt.

Let me cross the bridge! Let me cross the bridge!
If I don't work then soon there'll be - no food in the fridge.
Brooklyn Bridge now's a slow funnel
And they shout "Block Holland Tunnel!".
Sisters - let me cross the bridge.
They'll take Wall Street down
And come to your town!
People - let me cross the bridge!

Former Green Czar Van Jones (who has returned to something at which he's actually qualified and experienced) is calling his spin-offs The October Revolution (Now THERE'S an original title!). It's a good thing they're not the lawless violent hate-mongering race-baiting Tea Party. Then there'd be REAL trouble in the streets! ("That's a joke, son!" - Foghorn Leghorn) ;D

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

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User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - October 05, 2011 - Report this comment
TOS writers didn't bother to find words rhyming with bridge, but OMR found two. Princeton prof Cornel West should have been mentioned too. Good intro & outro for those who depend only on MSM for news.

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