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Song Parodies -> "Types Of Science"

Original Song Title:

"Drivers License"

Original Performer:

Olivia Rodrigo

Parody Song Title:

"Types Of Science"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. Everybody's got their pet peeve trope. One that I'm pretending to have for the sake of this parody is the Omnidisciplinary Scientist a.k.a. that thing where the science guy in the movies knows ALL the science. Because plot convenience.
So many types of science, I'd need a whole damn day to write 'em down
From chemistry to biology, so tirin' for me to work out
Which pertains to what kinda subject, tryin' but I'm Latin-ed out
Shouldn't bother with that hard work, don't need those lines drawn down
'Cause if you watch a movie or TV show where a scientist's found
They have skills in near ev'ry subject, it's done despite most of 'em are complex

And I just think it's bullshit, it's a trope I really hate, it's no fun
Suspension of disbelief broken in the fastest way when this shit's done
Put that on the screen and both my eyes will roll so wildly
I'll watch 'til the end but I will whine and moan in my tweets

I'm sure the guy with wires all 'round his lab can come help you, bud
With your earthquake or zombie thing 'cause "science" is so all-encompassin', dude
No, each scientist has their subject, although sometimes they might focus on two

A stupid plot contrivance that will never leave my brain, it's no fun
Oh-oh-oh, the writer has been slackin' because real thought is a pain, that can't be done
Almost tempts me to scream when I see that the script is lazy
But then technobabble starts its hypnotism on me

Smart guy, alright, some cover their bases
It's too far, huge farce, hard to dole out praises
When its used, my fuse is gonna blow up real soon, mate
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (oh)
I'm not that cross, action here's still awesome
Top banter, I'm laughin', only got one flaw, bud
I want to not hate you but that cliché is old news, mate
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (oh no)

Know no film is perfect and I guess it's best this way, still so dumb
'Cause I just can't imagine there's enough time in the day to learn that stuff
Wall full of degrees? Seems like you're aware it sounds crazy
A small lampshade hangin' won't save you from my angry tweet

Be glad I don't grade things, 'cause your A's a minus, you see

Kevyn: You're perpetuating a horrible myth, Hob. Experts in a given scientific field seldom have expertise in multiple fields. The 'Mad Scientist' or 'Tinkering Hero' archetype is patently ridiculous. I'm a physicist, specializing in wormhole dynamics. I apply gravitic tunnelling to the problems of managing receiverless teleportation. That does not make me a demolitions expert.
Hob: Wow. So you don't know 'splosives?
Kevyn: Actually, I do. But that's only because everybody needs a hobby.

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