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Song Parodies -> "Progressives And Conservatives (ain't friends)"
Original Song Title:
"The Farmer And The Cowman (should be friends)"
Original Performer:
Oklahoma (musical)
Parody Song Title:
"Progressives And Conservatives (ain't friends)"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
For my "bicentennial" (200th) parody, I chose TOS that I used nearly four years ago to contrast two religions. Here I contrast two political movements, using the US Congress as an example. I apologize to them for the word subs I chose for "Territory folks" in three stanzas.
Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
Oh, Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
One group likes to push the Dow, the other hikes all taxes now,
And that's one reason why they cain't be friends.
Predatory soaks should drink together,
Predatory soaks could all be pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals! (repeat)
I'd like to say a word for Progressives.
They came with hope to make a lot of changes.
They came with scope and built in more expenses,
And tilted at what's cooked on kitchen ranges. [1]
Republicans [2] are good and thrifty citizens,
No matter what the Democrats may think.
You seldom see them winkin' at a boardroom
Unless they get free tee-offs at the links.
But Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
Oh, Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
Progressives hope to save the trees, Conservatives would cut as you please,
And that's one reason why they can't be friends.
Whig and Tory [3] blokes would kick each other,
Whig and Tory blokes were never pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals!
I'd like to praise Progressives for some joy.
The woe they've spread brings rift and acrimony.
They tried their ways to mend; czarist baloney cannot end
Or cure that feelin' that our kids will pony! [4]
Conservatives, be sociable with Progressives
If they, by buying masks, elude their slaughter. [5]
Defeat them in the House, slake their Senate powerhouse,
And be sure that you block out dour Harry Plotter! [6]
Statutory blokes could click together,
Statutory blokes could all be pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals! [7]
Oh, Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
One group likes to push the Dow, the other hikes all taxes now,
And that's one reason why they cain't be friends.
Predatory soaks should drink together,
Predatory soaks could all be pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals! (repeat)
I'd like to say a word for Progressives.
They came with hope to make a lot of changes.
They came with scope and built in more expenses,
And tilted at what's cooked on kitchen ranges. [1]
Republicans [2] are good and thrifty citizens,
No matter what the Democrats may think.
You seldom see them winkin' at a boardroom
Unless they get free tee-offs at the links.
But Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
Oh, Progressives and Conservatives ain't friends.
Progressives hope to save the trees, Conservatives would cut as you please,
And that's one reason why they can't be friends.
Whig and Tory [3] blokes would kick each other,
Whig and Tory blokes were never pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals!
I'd like to praise Progressives for some joy.
The woe they've spread brings rift and acrimony.
They tried their ways to mend; czarist baloney cannot end
Or cure that feelin' that our kids will pony! [4]
Conservatives, be sociable with Progressives
If they, by buying masks, elude their slaughter. [5]
Defeat them in the House, slake their Senate powerhouse,
And be sure that you block out dour Harry Plotter! [6]
Statutory blokes could click together,
Statutory blokes could all be pals.
Hear those rants, first warm then hotter;
Armored pants shield Queen Nancy's gals! [7]
[1] Think of Michelle Obama and Michael Bloomberg.
[2] I'm hoping that "Tea Party" Republicans won't take the golf perks.
[3] The major US parties from 1834 to 1854, not the earlier British ones.
[4] Refers to intergenerational public debt.
[5] Some are faking moderation to win reelection.
[6] "Reid" didn't rhyme.
[7] Unfortunately, she remains Speaker until January.
[2] I'm hoping that "Tea Party" Republicans won't take the golf perks.
[3] The major US parties from 1834 to 1854, not the earlier British ones.
[4] Refers to intergenerational public debt.
[5] Some are faking moderation to win reelection.
[6] "Reid" didn't rhyme.
[7] Unfortunately, she remains Speaker until January.
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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Oops! I forgot to change "be sociable" to "don't Socialize" between [4] & [5].
Yee Ha! I'm hearing the music of the Barn Dance that follows this (I played the show a couple years ago). You've done a superb job of nailing those on both sides who deserve it!
Because, among other loathsome abominations, it produced James Inhofe.
BJM - Rodgered and Hammered-home! People will say there's no love! Oh what a beautiful send-up! ;D
Thanks to all c/v's except one v (but I'm pleased I got under his/her skin).
OMR: Well punned, you always manage to put a fringe on my surry. ;- )
OMR: Well punned, you always manage to put a fringe on my surry. ;- )
I just love political parodies and how they poke fun at politicians in which I do not like anyway, so I'm certainly giving this a 555 hands down! :-) Now if someone nice would just V or C on the one and/or the two parodies that I posted, it was like seven hours after I posted them and I only got like 20 hits on both! :-(
Yes, socialize does have a clever double meaning there. Good stuff, MJM. You have to give a lot of credit to the liberal marketing group who took possession of the term 'progressive.' It sounds so good even though most so-called progressive policies are anything but.
WC: If U luv PPs, U R on the right site, where yule find many good ones beside mine. I'll visit yours, tho IDNKTOS of either.
JJ: I recall Hillary in 2008 was the first to reclaim the progressive mantle when liberal became a dirty word. But we voters aren't fooled now.
JJ: I recall Hillary in 2008 was the first to reclaim the progressive mantle when liberal became a dirty word. But we voters aren't fooled now.
yes
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