Song Parodies -> "The Cynic's Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting...)"

Original Performer:

"The Cynic's Song"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Global roasting can be set aside.
Al Gore’s nightmare can’t unfold -
Records dropping, roads closed, bursting pipes
And six-foot drifts in Buffalo.

Everybody knows - outliers, fewer melting floes
Help predict the planet’s fate.
Tiny dots graphing century lows -
Warm sometimes, but it’s not too late.

We know that Santa’s on his way;
He’s bringing shorter winters here - more time to play!
I’ll ditch my snowboots, yet retire in my town,
‘Cause rising seas may make South Florida drown.

And so I send November sympathies,
Where Christmas came too soon this year -
Although it’s been said many times many ways,
Glad it didn’t, glad it didn’t,
Glad it didn’t happen here.

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Green Gary - November 21, 2014 - Report this comment

I read this as a global warming warning. One of warming's early features is extreme weather, caused by Arctic warming making the jet stream meander wildly. That brings brief episodes of cold and storms, but the global trend is toward overall, relentless warming of the Earth. The U.S. and China recently signed an agreement to limit carbon emissions, much to the consternation of the Republican science illiterates who will soon be chairpersons of the various Senate science committees. Coniglio has it right.

Black Lung - November 21, 2014 - Report this comment

Mitch McConnell (R-KY), next Senate Majority leader, represents coal country. That's all the science he has to know.

Giorgio Coniglio - November 21, 2014 - Report this comment

Thanks Green and Black. You certainly helped fill in the spaces between the song's lines, particularly re the major , even unprecedented fluctuations in weather which will be part of our evolving climate pattern. Rather than a political thrust, I intended the song to portray a flaw in the human psyche. When change occurs, we all think of taking advantage, but don't worry about paying the price.

Patrick - November 22, 2014 - Report this comment

Warmer Canada, fewer Canadians driving or flying to Florida, fewer exhaust emissions. Fewer snowplow runs. Less fuel consumed. Not as much salt and sand run-off into storm drains. Less coal and oil burned to provide heat. More people outside in sunshine, rather than sedentary at home, watching TV.

Giorgio Coniglio - November 23, 2014 - Report this comment

Patrick; unbearable, parched Kansas summers, relieved by trips north, more AC use; loss of species and natural habitats; flooded coastlines; more severe storms and violent weather year-round; less certain planetary home for our grandchildren. Fortunately change in climate will occur relatively slowly compared to our lifespan, but hardly an idyllic situation.

Patrick - November 24, 2014 - Report this comment

Kansas summers are always parched and unbearable. Paranoid US govt makes it harder to visit Canada. I noticed that the term "global warming" has been replaced with "climate change". Remember the term "new ice age". Look up a novel "A Creed For The Third Millenium" to see how the party line played out in literature just 20 or so years ago.

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