Chess nuts playing by an open fire
Math geeks picking at their nose
Girls named Carol popping zits in the choir
And Fay dressed like an eskimo
Everybody knows that Tony has a boyfriend, Moe
Helen isn't very bright
Tiny Tom with his red eyes aglow
Will roll a dandy spliff tonight

They know the principal is gay
He's gonna hand detentions out to Bob and Jay
And in the boy's room, pervs are gonna spy
To see if Pam has a tattoo on her thigh

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To nerds from twelve to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Here's a wedgie for you