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Song Parodies -> "Cultists Christmas Carol"

Original Song Title:

"We Wish You A Merry Christmas"

Original Performer:

Miscellaneous

Parody Song Title:

"Cultists Christmas Carol"

Parody Written by:

Adam David

The Lyrics

A few years ago, in a fit of "Bah, humbug", I penned a collection of anti-carols for an "Alternate Christmas Songbook". Here is one of them. I did mess with the format of this one however, as the original carol has the refrain "Good tidings we bring..." sung after every verse. That got a little clunky and drawn out in this version, so I cut it down to a single refrain at the most appropriate spot and the rest is all sung as regular verses, with the exception of the last line, which should be spoken in your best Vincent Price impersonation.
We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas, and a happy new year.

We’ve come for your first-born children, we’ve come for your first-born children
We’ve come for your first-born children, so bring them out here.

Don’t be alarmed, there’s no need to fear.
It’s our little tradition, we do it each year!

The altar is laid and ready, the altar is laid and ready
The altar is laid and ready, the deadline draws near.

The knife has been freshly sharpened, the knife has been freshly sharpened
The knife has been freshly sharpened, and bloodstains wash clear.

With blood we will call the Master, with blood we will call the Master
With blood we will call the Master and summon him here.

We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas…

and a *hell* of a new year!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
 2
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Patrick - December 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Sick, sick, sick. The ultimate evil.
Jonathan S. - December 23, 2008 - Report this comment
Interesting satire.

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