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Song Parodies -> "JIngle Bells In Mineral Wells"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bells"
Original Performer:
Miscellaneous
Parody Song Title:
"JIngle Bells In Mineral Wells"
Parody Written by:
Terry Allan Hall
The Lyrics
We really get into the holidays here in the Lone Star State...
Jingle Bells In Mineral Wells
Dashing through the dust, in my ragged out Chervrolet
Deep potholes and worn-out shocks 'bout to rattle my teeth away!
I promised my little girl that I take her to the mall
We got a date with Santa, the reindeers, elves and all
Jingle Bells in Mineral Wells is nothing less than strange
Sleighs pulled by little-bitty deer aren't at home upon the range
Jingle Bells in Mineral Wells, rattlers in the shade
Decorated cactus with lights that flash and fade
When we got to the mall, the line stretched all the way
From the Tractor Supply's open doors way out to Chick Ole!
The brats were in battalions, Santa's eyes glazed with fear
But at least the girls dressed up like elves were passing out cold beer!
Chorus
Now, when we got back home, I had to put up lights
And plywood Christmas cutouts, you've never seen the like
A lovely glow-in-the-dark sign, that asked for Global Peace
And Jim-Bob the Redneck Reindeer was, of course, the centerpiece!
Chorus
And when the carollers swung by, to share a festive tune
Backed by flat-top guitar, accordian, and some fool with a bassoon
And then the bump-and-grind commenced to "Where Has Santa Been"
Last time I saw such a sight involved organic mescaline!
Chorus
Dashing through the dust, in my ragged out Chervrolet
Deep potholes and worn-out shocks 'bout to rattle my teeth away!
I promised my little girl that I take her to the mall
We got a date with Santa, the reindeers, elves and all
Jingle Bells in Mineral Wells is nothing less than strange
Sleighs pulled by little-bitty deer aren't at home upon the range
Jingle Bells in Mineral Wells, rattlers in the shade
Decorated cactus with lights that flash and fade
When we got to the mall, the line stretched all the way
From the Tractor Supply's open doors way out to Chick Ole!
The brats were in battalions, Santa's eyes glazed with fear
But at least the girls dressed up like elves were passing out cold beer!
Chorus
Now, when we got back home, I had to put up lights
And plywood Christmas cutouts, you've never seen the like
A lovely glow-in-the-dark sign, that asked for Global Peace
And Jim-Bob the Redneck Reindeer was, of course, the centerpiece!
Chorus
And when the carollers swung by, to share a festive tune
Backed by flat-top guitar, accordian, and some fool with a bassoon
And then the bump-and-grind commenced to "Where Has Santa Been"
Last time I saw such a sight involved organic mescaline!
Chorus
(c) 2008 TAH The TERRY ALLAN HALL Website...and stuff...
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 4 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
User Comments
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Welcome to AmIRight! We have some top-notch parodists here, and therefore some pretty tough critics, so I thought you might be interested in why the lack of receptiveness. One is that we look for exact pacing, e. g. the first line of the chorus in "Jingle Bells" is 11 syllables and yours is 13, so it won't sing exactly to the original tune. I didn't vote, since you're new here, but that's probably why the person who did vote gave a 3 on "pacing" (scansion, meter). Also, just writing "chorus" is regarded as a lack of effort. The best points go to those who don't just print out the chorus, they vary it each time it appears. In other words, even if the original song repeats a chorus, you think up a new twist each time. It's a chance to show off your creativity and punnery. To take one of the longest and most difficult examples, check out
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean119.shtml
and note 7 choruses, each different. You definitely have some funny stuff there - I liked the "cold beer" line, and the voter gave you a 5 on "funny" -- observe the technical skills at this site, and it will make you a much better parodist. It certainly did for me. Regards, and again, welcome.
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean119.shtml
and note 7 choruses, each different. You definitely have some funny stuff there - I liked the "cold beer" line, and the voter gave you a 5 on "funny" -- observe the technical skills at this site, and it will make you a much better parodist. It certainly did for me. Regards, and again, welcome.
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