I heard there was a secret chord
A *secret* chord? Just hold that thought
You don't know what I'm talking about, do ya?
I'm wondering, what is so great
The chord itself, or the way it's played?
The baffling lyrics of "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah...what's it to ya?
Hallelujah...crap, it's true-woo-woo-woo, yeah

This chord became a noxious song
Goes on and on for *way* too long
Sometimes I think, well, hey Jeff Buckley: screw ya
A Burke sang it when she won
Her X-mas-factor number one
The tired and hackneyed, clichéd "Hallelujah"

Hallelujah... won on cue, yeah
Hallelujah... Buckley, screw-ew-ew-ooo ya

This "secret" chord - was it F or C
Or Gsus4 (for Jesus freaks?)
Or was it what Confucius say in China?
That what you get (however daft)
From a piano dropped down a mineshaft
It's a joke because the punchline's Abm

Abm, No joke's finer
Abm, (a flat mi-hi-hi-hi-ner)

Well I guess by now you're pretty bored
Of songs about a secret chord
Tough! There's still two verses to play to ya
My voice fills with emotional pain
My face twists and it shows the strain
Just like I'm constipated on the loo, yeah

On the loo, yeah.. number two, yeah
I can poo, yeah.. Hallelu-oo-oo-oo-jah

Well, maybe there's a god around
Above, perhaps, or underground
Whatever deity you may pray to, yeah
Your prayers are answered, anyhow
You prayed "Please will he finish.. NOW"
Hear you say "Thank God that's over, Hallelujah"

Hallelujah... It's sung to ya
Hallelujah... Now it's through woo-woo-woo, yeah.