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Song Parodies -> "My Hex's Loose End"

Original Song Title:

"My Ex's Best Friend"

Original Performer:

Machine Gun Kelly ft. blackbear

Parody Song Title:

"My Hex's Loose End"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream Supplemental" self-challenge. Why does ending the magic of powerful sorcerers always involve some complex hoodoo and not just, you know, punching them?
Ayy
I cast my hex, it shouldn't be so damn complicated, yeah-ah
It's not that complicated
But it all ends 'cause some hero dorks went through all the fine print? Yeah-ah
That's pretty lame

Which warlock designed this stupid shit?
All this hard spell work can't have loose ends
Should've been so easy, can't comprehend
Some puny little scrub dweeb and his ragtag friends
Undid what I spent weeks workin' hard on, kinda blows
Reality would've been mine to reshape, it's true
Like a hack in an emulator
But then suddenly it all died, that's pretty shitty, uh

The whole thing flopped, I can't believe it's 'cause
Some little sods had found a work around for it
Spell ended 'cause of a loophole, feels wrong
The book lacked any warnin's, guess 'cause it's convoluted (yeah)

"Head off to the quarry and paint a possum blue-and-teal spotty
Recite words with six syllables until your tongues are all knotty
Form a human ring and then get disturbingly floppy
Kick the head off a dolly and lip-sync to Pavarotti
Throw some silver change
In your neighbour's face
Then face-plant a sandwich that's full of grease, bite on your tongue and then start swearin' heavily"
That's the instructions they followed religiously, how did that ruin my day? Lame

Okay, first off: as plans go, it's a lot
No damn kind of trial-and-error could lead to it
A whole pile of random nonsense can't stop
An uber-powerful spell but I guess it somehow did (oh, oh)
Can't be made up, no way it's on the spot
Don't play it off as concentration-breakin' shit (concentration-breakin' shit)
They did this stuff a friggin' long way off (yeah-eah)
From the house where I was so I still puzzle over it (oh, oh)

Ended my hex in a manner way too complicated, yeah-ah
So dumb yet complicated
Those stupid kids lack a mangy dog but I still swear vengeance, yeah-ah
Get them one day

Not as confusing and weird MGK suddenly switching to pop-punk in a way that makes blackbear briefly tolerable, but hey.

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Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

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