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Song Parodies -> "BLACK FRIDAY (Brawl to Find Those Sales)"

Original Song Title:

"MONTERO (Call Me by Your Name)"

Original Performer:

Lil Nas X

Parody Song Title:

"BLACK FRIDAY (Brawl to Find Those Sales)"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Strawberry Ice Cream" self-challenge. This is one of those things where everyone accepts it as fact when they really shouldn't. "Don't go shopping on Black Friday, you'll get crushed by hordes of parents buying TVs and Tickle-Me Elmo's!" "Okay, Mah, I don't question this at all!"
It seemed so nice yesterday
Much food and givin' thanks, it's so great
Flush all those platitudes down the drain
Because it's time to punch absolute strangers today
It's madness, shouldn't be so shockin' ev'ry time
The lure of crazy bargains breaks the minds
Of normally normal people, used to be all smiles
Now they're gougin' out your eyes and screamin' swear words all the while

Insane, will no-one break the trend?
Nope, we're all the asshole right now, well, except
The teenagers there runnin' the till
They're not allowed to yell back, wish they could, it's hell

What a pile of knobs, what a state of greed
What a crazy mob of douchebags here today
Brawlin', they won't stop, brawlin', they won't heed
Brawlin' to find those sales only on today, why?
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
Hmm, hmm, hmm-mmm-mmm-mmm (ayy, ayy)

I'm not the first to be findin'
Hypocrisy in the ironic timin'
On Thursday, give thanks, on Friday, you're fightin'
Might be tasers about, I'm not lyin'
Oh-oh-ho, you see
Won't find me inside that mob, I watch and read
This shite the next night all online, what a scene
Only psychos would try to go buy that day, geez
And I won't be
One of those cashiers, pretty easy
When you're on a diff'rent continent, see
Don't have this nonsense down in Aussie, in Aussie

I say that but I wouldn't flip
If they brought it over like those silly Brits
It's insane, really makes me sick
'Cause we don't have Thanksgivin', doesn't make much sense

What a crazy mob, what a group of freaks
What a load of nonsense that is on display
Brawlin', they won't stop, brawlin', they won't heed
Brawlin' to find those sales only on today, why (oh-oh-oh)?
Brawl to find those sales (hmm, hmm)
Ev'ryone joins in the violence (hmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)
Brawl to find those sales (hmm, hmm)
Videos shared, you can't hide it (hmm-mmm-mmm-mmm)

Uh, glad I'm not livin' it, uh
I'm not a little twig, uh, but I'm not thick as shit, uh
Um, um, um, still snap in two, um, um, ooh

I seriously saw a billboard ad for a Black Friday sale a coupla months ago. Made for a different "Seriously now?!" experience than my usual exasperation at people leaving their shopping trolleys inside the goddamn parks, but that's the barest silver lining in the world right there.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.7
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 3

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