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Song Parodies -> "Jihad Wacky"

Original Song Title:

"Jabberwocky"

Original Performer:

Lewis Carroll

Parody Song Title:

"Jihad Wacky"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Reports that the US military has begun reading Miranda rights to new captives in Afghanistan brought back memories of how the former President waged war differently. I wrote the first draft on Thanksgiving Day in 2003 and updated it numerous times, in particular the final stanza a year later. It's not a song, but certainly is a fitting parody of this famous nonsense rhyme.
'Twas broiling, and the sly theoves
'Mid fire and brimstone win the babes;
All flimsy were the war-no-doves,
And the gnome wraths shout "Wahhabes!"

"Beware the Jihad flock, my son,
Because each right, by laws they snatch!
Heed spare the hubbub word, and shun
The furious Ba'athist klatch!"

He took his mortal horde inland;
Long time Phalanx Escrow he sought---
So wrested he, cried the Humdrum Three,
Who would denial have brought.

Allies enough Bush got, withstood
The jabber talk of lies and blame;
Came stiff-lipped through the tumult, would
Endure bold action's flame.

One four four one! This flag won't run;
The fusillade sent slick attack!
He cleft Afghanistan, by plan
He rent enGulfed Iraq.

"And hast thou drained the Terror Swamp?
Come take their arms; spy teams deploy.
So fractious they! Call new cadre!"
Be chore to win his ploy.

'Twas chilling, and the sty photos
Did ire the grim skulls in The Hague;
All crimson was the horror prose,
And the tomes thrash Abu Ghraib.
Glossary: sly theoves = 19 radicalized 9/11 hijackers; the babes = promised 72 virgins in heaven; war-no-doves = opponents of retaliation; gnome wraths = conservative talk show hosts; my son = George H. W. Bush advises GWB; hubbub word = opinion polls, rumors, leaks; mortal horde = US forces awaiting invasion; Phalanx Escrow = coalition force led by UN; Humdrum Three = France, Germany, Russia; jabber talk = liberal media commentary; one four four one = UN Resolution number; new cadre = interim government, NATO, UN; sty photos = pig-piles, dog leashes, etc.; The Hague = ICC; horror prose, tomes = media coverage, books.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 1
 
 2   1
 1
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   1
 1
 1
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - June 12, 2009 - Report this comment
An alternate title is "Jihad Blocking". Bush haters will prefer "sans plan" to "by plan". Accent on the second syllable: Phalanx, Escrow, Allies, cadre and photos.
Old Man Ribber - June 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Barry J. Mitchell, he did Lewis Carroll Barry J. Mitchell's now over a barrel Gave him three 5's, but here's what was wrong He parodied poems instead of a song! (Off with his head!!!) I, other the other hand, LOVED it. Great job. Give us more! Sorry, got to go...I'm late...I'm late! lol :D
Old Man Ribber - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Hope you know I was kidding with all the Alice in Wonderland quotations and parody. And sorry about misspelling the name. This is good stuff. ;)
Barry J. Mitchel - May 28, 2010 - Report this comment
OMR: Thanks; I'm sorry I neglected to look for comments. Your apology is accepted. LoL at your verse. Have you seen my #16 of same author? I miss GWB more every day now.

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