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Song Parodies -> "The Rambler"

Original Song Title:

"The Gambler"

Original Performer:

Kenny Rogers

Parody Song Title:

"The Rambler"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

"Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin is a great tune but poor advice whilst on a train. I haven't heard this OS (either version) in about a decade so I hope my memory and d/l lyrics don't fail me here.
On a cold winter's eve(nin)'
On a train bound for Springfield
Was caught up by a rambler
Who talked as if on speed
And he started conversing
Out the window I was staring
I wished he'd STFU,
wouldn't stop his speech

He said "Son, I'm on this ride
So I can see many places.."
Droning on with short words
And I just rolled my eyes
"Sir, if you don't mind me sayin'
Could you end this conversation?"
Was not phased, he continued
To talk on through the night

I found him to be boring
To the point of almost snoring
Then that bum got louder and
I found it none too nice
Would this guy get deathly quiet?
If I threatened him with violence?
I said "Dude, if you gonna talk to stran-gers
You gotta learn to do it right"

You gotta know when to shut up
Know when to get up
Seems you just talk away
With topics dumb
You never learned to listen?
Keep your lips still are you able?
There'll be time enough for chattin'
When the trip is done

(Now) every human knows
That bathrooms are quite private
Thought maybe I could get away
I went to take a leak
So I did then go use her*
And followed this damn loser
He continued to blab on more
Then a plan came to me

So when he finished speakin'
I pitched him out the window
Snuffed out this idiot
You think it's kind of mean?
But somewhere on the train tracks
A rambler learned his lesson
And now that there's no more words
I can finally get some sleep!

You gotta know when to shut up
Know when to get up
Know that when on a train
Don't make a fuss
Should never talk to strangers
Just like mama always told you
There'll be guys that you encounter
Who'll mess you up!

(repeat chorus with ad-libbed parts at your own peril)
copyright 2005+ Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher *I never refer to bathrooms as "her", call it un-poetic license. ;-)

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   5
 5   13

User Comments

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carol - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
wow that's a new twist on the OS. 455
Phil Alexander - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Super, Red Ant. A funny story, beautifully told :-)
2Eagle - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
That could also be an ode to a ladies aid meeting where women seem to ramble on about the most boring things.
Red Ant - December 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Carol, Phil and 2Eagle.
Michael Pacholek - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
A couple of stanzas too many (you did say it's been a while), but otherwise pretty good. Had Amiright been around in the late Seventies (which would've been a pretty nifty trick, seeing as how the Internet as we know it didn't exist -- Al Gore was in his second term in the House), this, being a hook-y, much-loved and much-mocked story-song, would've been the "Sk8er Boi" of its time, and we'd have been up to our necks in "Gambler" parodies. (I tried "The Bumbler" for Bush.) - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
"Rambling" was in vogue in the Seventies, apparently. The Allman Brothers had "Midnight Rambler," Zep had "Ramble On," and there was even a root beer called "Ramblin.'" Most importantly, Steve Martin did a song called "Ramblin'" where he spelled it out: "R-A-M-B-L-I-N-apostrophe." Anyhoo. Nice job. "The Gambler" is one of those songs I've been planning to parody for years; still waiting for the right idea come along. I like this one.
Red Ant - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Michael and Spaff>

Michael: Too long? Actually, the lyrics sheet I used listed not one but three "outro" choruses. Apparently there are at least 2 versions of this song given the pacing hits I took (perhaps I remembered a bit of each). I'll check out yours later.

Spaff: I'm still a bit rusty on older rock songs, but didn't the Allman Brothers do "Ramblin' Man" and "Midnight Rider"? Ramblin' root beer, sounds like the Jolt cola of the day. As for ideas for this song, I hope to see that come to fruition one day. And I think I'll stfu now, I'm ramblin. - December 18, 2005 - Report this comment
You're right, Red. "Midnight Rambler" is the Stones. Obviously it's not YOU who's rusty.
alvinrhodes - December 19, 2005 - Report this comment
ijustwannasayireallylikethisandithinkyoudeserveagoodscorwcauseitsoundslike­youreallyworkedhardonthisand...oh, i'm rambling..sorry
Michael Pacholek - December 19, 2005 - Report this comment
The Allmans did "Ramblin' Man." The Stones did "Midnight Rambler." And one of Bob Seger's first hits was "Ramblin' Gamblin' Man."
Red Ant - December 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Alvin and Michael.
Yoidy - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Looks like The Rambler is pushin' up Brambles! 5s.
Adagio - February 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Really good one, Jack! The story was fascinating and couldn't put down the put down the monitor. 5's
Agrimorfee - February 16, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I found this to be fine parody with quite an original idea(evidently, this was the first Kenny Rogers parody here). I winced at you referring to the bathroom as "her", just for the sake of rhyming "loser".
Matthias - February 16, 2007 - Report this comment
He's a Rambling Man....
Max Power - February 16, 2007 - Report this comment
ABC-Keep on rambling
Below Average Dave - February 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Not a fan of Kenny Rodgers, but I'm always a fan of you. I didn't see issues on pacing like it appears many others did, I know STFU was just because you couldn't really say it out without bleeping it, so High marks on this one. . .although I have seen better by you honestly--it still made me chuckle and is better than the average parodist.
Jeff Reuben - February 21, 2007 - Report this comment
I saw the Springfield reference and started thinking Simpsons, but you kept rambling on with no Homer in sight. Pretty good job with a classic song, one of my favorites.
Johnny D - February 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) How'd I miss this 2 years ago? 555!
Stuart McArthur - February 26, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) like Jeff, I thought Simpsons, but the catchline "Know When To Shut Up" linked to rambling was a great funny idea Jack - beautiful use of the OS - 555
Rick C - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'll keep this short. (don't wanna get thrown offa here). Sorry I missed this one two years ago too. 555
The Charnstar - February 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) Wow, I'm surprised I know the OS. Great parody here, 5-5-5
Michael McVey - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I think Kenny Rogers would be proud.---MM
Mikey Squirrel - February 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) I don't know how many times I wanted to tell certain people all these lyrics! Good job, Red Ant!
Red Ant - March 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey thanks everybody.

Aggy: There are other Kenny Rogers songs here, just none filed under "misc" for the decade - I couldn't remember if this was 70s, 80s, or both.

Dave: If I don't record this, I'll change that line to "shut the hell up".

Charnstar: I'm surprised too. =)
I Saw Kenny Rogers Live @ a Racino - June 17, 2018 - Report this comment
Man, this is really good! Ever heard the Irish joke about 'throwing the wrong "b*tch" out the window' of a train? This is a lot like that. Also, something similar to this happened when I was trying to sleep sitting upright on a Greyhound going to Cheyenne, Wyoming. I know the feeling and 'I feel your pain'. Good job!!!

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