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Song Parodies -> "Those TARP-Dangled Bailouts"

Original Song Title:

"The Star-Spangled Banner"

Original Performer:

Kate Smith

Parody Song Title:

"Those TARP-Dangled Bailouts"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

This is one of the US President's favorite songs. He always stands, hatless, speechless and unable to sign legislation. It's been a rough 55 weeks since his inauguration, so I rewrote the lyrics to be about him; he'll like that. He might even place his right hand on his left breast like other able civilian citizens.
As in TOS by Francis Scott Key, the title is merely symbolic of an evolving battle.
Oh, say can you see by Obama's lost might
What so proudly we hailed in his campaign's fast dreaming?
Whose broad swipes and bright spars through the partisan fight,
O'er the TVs we watched were so valiantly gleaming?
With our pockets threadbare, bubble bursts fed despair;
Grave goofs fueled the fright, but our Feds could still share.
Oh, say will those TARP-dangled bailouts yet save, [1]
Or can handouts for free make the homeowner slave?

At his core, dimly seen through the twists woven deep,
There is O's haughty boast that Joe Biden imposes. [2]
What is that which he sees, o'er the cowering sheep,
That the tip of his nose half conceals, half discloses?
Now he catches the gleam and is warning his team.
His full story rejected, now whining's his theme.
'Tis the far-right wing's banner! Oh long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

And where is that man who so vauntingly swore
That we'd have no more war, planned all battles' conclusions?
At home should our troops be, would leave us no more;
He's studied about diplomatic solutions.
No lawyer could save the wired bombing knave [3]
Who'd brought terror in flight, for his doom would be grave.
Yet the star-spangled banner, despite bumps, doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Oh, trust not the clever! When we understand
Our Congress's tomes and the czars' despoilation,
Press that trickery cease, take the level-headed stand,
Raise your power unafraid to preserve thus the nation.
Then Congress we'll bust, when their laws are unjust,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
[1] The bailouts were angled, dangled, jangled, mangled, new-fangled, tangled, wangled, and the economy is still strangled.
[2] "Nobody messes with Joe", who was assigned to oversee the Stimulus fund spending.
[3]"The American people won't be upset when KSM is tried, convicted and sentenced to death."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   7

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
I chose "far-right wing" in line 15 to match TOS, but I meant Tea Party, which includes right wing, right-center and independents who are Taxed Enough Already.
Dana Mathewson - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job, Barry. I especially appreciate the notes of hope here -- not the false, Obama variety, but the true hope that we shall succeed in wresting our country back from the grip of the far left.
Patrick - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Matches the dignity and phraseology of the original. And you used all four verses. A great transformation.
Adagio - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh! He does give a salute! His famous crotch salute. lol excellent!! 5's
Old Man Ribber - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
All FOUR verses? What are you? An American? (Yes, you are...and a good one, too). Fine job, a true national "anthem"! ;D
Timmy1000 - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Unfortunately, this may truly now be our national anthem - one of the best writing I have seen in awhile!
Christie Marie M - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Imagine singing this kind of anthem at a baseball game! It would make those people more patriotic. I sure hope someone does sing your satire. 555 gun salute for this National Anthem and God Bless Obamica....I mean America! I echo all comments above!
John Barry - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
A Katechy tune.
Fiddlegirl - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Yes, he *can*... write brilliant parodies! :D
Phil Nelson - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
It was written well and interesting
Barry J. Mitchel - February 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks to all 7 v/c's, who clearly know all 4 stanzas written by FSK. Nobody sings them today.

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