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Song Parodies -> "Things I Would Not Recommend"

Original Song Title:

"My Favorite Things"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Things I Would Not Recommend"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This might be "the before picture" to "the after picture" seen in the classic "The Times When I Just Didn't Think" by Kristof Robertson.
Parody writing on your work computer.
Girlfriend might be bad, but you should not shoot her.
Blaming your farts on a near-standing friend.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Dismissing theories of Doctor Charles Darwin.
Giving ones to parodies done by Arwen.
Saying a train is the tunnel's light end.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Rooting for Yankees when you're in New England.
Not wiping seat when you're off in your tinklin'.
Telling your mother she's gone 'round the bend.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Making dogs bite.
Making bees sting.
Making children sad.
These are some things I would not recommend.
All of them could... be bad!

Saying "Yes" when Cheney says, "Let's go hunting."
Fourth-and-two, down by three points and then punting.
Things that suggest you've gone off the deep end.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Christmas-gift underwear sending to Britney.
Try to fix marriage of Bobby and Whitney.
Hot girl works next to you, e-mail you'd send.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Answer "Yes" when she asks, "I look fat in this?"
Trying those "brilliant" things in ads by Guinness.
In airport waving a gun that's pretend.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Making dogs bite.
Making bees sting.
Making children sad.
These are some things I would not recommend.
All of them could... be bad!

Saying "There is no God" down in Virginia.
Try it, and alive they must just go skin ya.
Then you off to hell they would try to send.
That is one thing I would not recommend.

Coming to work dressed like you've been out clubbing.
Sulfuric acid as pimple-treat scrubbing.
Such stupid actions I could not defend.
These are some things I would not recommend.

Falling asleep on a Brooklyn-bound D Train.
Telling your boss he's a schmuck and a pea-brain.
Showing that logic you'll always suspend.
These are some things I would not recommend!

Making dogs bite.
Making bees sting.
Making children sad.
These are some things I would not recommend.
All of them could... be bad!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 10
 10
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   4
 2
 2
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   20
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peter Andersson - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I liked this one a lot Michael! Too bad that something in it (the Virginia/God lines?) was enough to tick off Mr/Mrs One.
alvin rhodes - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
inspired lunacy
Kelohcap Leahcim - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Yes, lunatic.
Tommy Turtle - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
This pea-brain thinks it's all good advice, esp. the lines about flatulence and huntin' with the veep.... I recommend three Fives.
Meriadoc - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Shooting your girlfriend when she is called Arwen? Surely is something won't earn you a pardon!

Great parody Michael. :-)
PMS - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
LOL 555
Michael Pacholek - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
I never said MY girlfriend, Merry... Besides, Arwen's got those magic bracelets she got on her vacation on Paradise Island.
AFW - January 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Very funny writing, lots of great lines in here
Ethan Mawyer - January 20, 2007 - Report this comment
I had high expectations when I clicked on this and wasn't disappointed. Any of it directly based on personal experience? If so, you should probably deny it anyway.
John Jenkins - January 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Voting anything less than 5s for this parody is something I would not recommend.
Michael Pacholek - January 22, 2007 - Report this comment
Since Ethan asked, I've actually done the following from the song: Parody writing on my work computer, rooting for the Yankees while in New England (you probably guessed those), telling my mother she's gone 'round the bend, and falling asleep on a Brooklyn-bound subway.

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