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Song Parodies -> "Messier"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

The Teflon Don of hockey. The Broadway Boozehounds finally won the Cup, June 14, 1994, roughly 48 hours after O.J. Simpson killed his ex-wife. After that, if Messier had done the same thing, the NYPD would've given him an escort up the Thruway to the Canadian border. Remember, the name is French, so it's "MESS-ee-ay," not "MESS-ee-er." Let's see, 11 years without a Cup down, only 43 more to go.
All I want is a seat somewhere
in the Garden of Madison Square.
The Captain has no hair.
Oh, wouldn't that be Messier?

Lots of fights on the Garden ice.
Mix it up with the other guys.
Because we're men, you're mice.
Oh, wouldn't that be Messier.

Oh, we finally got the Cup
in ninety-four, yeah, still
seems like we never won at all
'cause our team's over the hill.

Spent our cash to see Adam Graves
Leetch's defense and Richter's saves.
It leaves us all depraved.
Oh, wouldn't it be Messier?


All I want is to win in June.
Who needs clean play? Just be a goon.
Who leads us in this tune?
Oh, wouldn't that be Messier?

Lots of stitches in your man's face.
No penalty, that's some disgrace.
With this he gets away.
Oh, wouldn't that be Messier?

Oh, we brought Wayne Gretzky in.
To see him was a thrill.
But when good teams come to town
the Broadway Blues get killed.

Bags of ice resting on their knees.
Wond'ring when the slump will cease.
For this we pay these fees?
Oh, he's so old now, Messier.



One good thing about the lockout: We may never see ol' Lex Luthor suit up again.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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 5   3

User Comments

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Steve K. - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
7 years without even a playoff appearance. That's painful enough for the Madison Square Maniacs.
Ravyn Rant - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, but some of us remember Messier from the Edmonton days...ah, those were the days, weren't they? Sigh.

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