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Song Parodies -> "Swift Boat"

Original Song Title:

"Shrimp Boats"

Original Performer:

Jo Stafford

Parody Song Title:

"Swift Boat"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Once again (10/30/06) John Kerry's remarks denigrated the US military and/or its chief. His sevice was questioned in 2004 by the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. This August 2004 parody echoed their allegations and lampooned his presidential aspirations. The original words are at .
Swift boat, mine is comin'
All hail me, I'll smite
Swift boat, won't be dumb in
I'm handsome and bright
I hope to hurry hurry hurry home
How can I hurry hurry hurry home
Look there! My swift boat, soon is comin'
I'll plan some respite
(Swift boat, 'til it's come in, romancin' tonight)

I went to serve with an officer's pride
And my women folk waved their good-bye
(Purple hearts glow... three to go)
Now the Viet Nam loon floats on high
And I wait for the day I can cry...

Swift boat, mine is hummin'
Won't fail me in flight
Swift boat, shell is bum 'n'
Turns glancin' to bite
I soon will hurry hurry hurry home
With purple hearts I win, I'll hurry home
So on my swift boat, I am cunnin'
Though my wound is slight
(Swift boat, blood is runnin', 'twas from a firefight)

Happy the days while they're mending, these vets
'Til one mortal slides into the sea
(Pulled from below... I'm a hero)
Then I only the strong knight will be
'Til that wonderful day when I'll see...

Swift boat, Charlie's runnin'
Turned tail, he can't fight
Swift boat, mine is gunnin'
Enhancin' his fright
Now I can hurry hurry hurry home
With silver star I win, I'll hurry home
Jump off my swift boat, Charlie's done in
I filmed it on site
(Swift boat, mine has come in, this war I'll indict)

(Swift boat, now I'm runnin' --- I blanch in
That ranch in the Blanc Chateau mansion...)

Swift boat, tales I've spun in - are lancin' the Right!
Permission is given to use this parody for profit and/or pleasure, provided credit and email notice are given to Barry J. Mitchel at

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - November 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I hope you're not the Barry Mitchell who used to do parodies on ABC's overnight "World News Now." (No, you can't be, because he was funny.) Kerry denigrated Bush, not the troops, and anybody who isn't smart enough to figure that out is as dumb as Bush is!
MasonR - November 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Michael--I also understood what Kerry was trying to say and he was clearly going after Bush's appallingly tragic lack of preparedness but let's face it...Kerry's not that good at delivering punchlines (or election victories). Alas. BTW, I'm sure you've heard this one...a guy walks into a bar and sees John Kerry sitting there and says, "hey Kerry, why the long face?"
2Eagle - November 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Why the ones? This meets the pacing of the original song and the lyrics are well written.
Barry J. Mitchel - November 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I've never been or will be on ABC. To avoid the controversy over who JFK II insulted, I used "and/or". But the parody deals with events in the Viet Nam war and, in the end, 2004, not 2006; the "1"s are clearly for current events.
DD - November 01, 2006 - Report this comment
Senator Kerry has a history of unfairly criticizing American troops. It seems apparent that he was attempting to do it one more time. Even if he were attempting to criticize Bush's education, that would be inaccurate and inappropriate since Bush's Yales grades were slightly higher than Kerry's.

Good parody, particularly the blanch in/mansion couplet.

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