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Song Parodies -> "The Battle of Stockholm"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle of New Orleans"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"The Battle of Stockholm"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Donald Trump said there was a terrorist attack in Sweden this past Friday. Trump would never lie, would he?
(instrumental opening)

In twenty-seventeen, we all took a journey
along with Colonel Lindstrom on up through the Baltic Sea.
We took a little knäckebröd and took a few sardines
and we caught some bloody terrorists, a-lookin' very mean.

We fired our guns and the terrorists kept comin'.
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We played ABBA records and scared 'em into runnin'
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

We looked into Stockholm, we could see 'em on the curb, an'
there musta been a hundred of 'em, each wearin' a turban.
They waved their scimitars, the rhetoric afire.
We said, "Yumpin' Yiminy, this gotta be satire!"

We fired our guns and the terrorists kept comin'.
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We played ABBA records and scared 'em into runnin'
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

Ol' Colonel Sven said, "Let's take 'em by surprise.
We got rifles, we can put some bullets right between their eyes."
They thought they had their bomb ready, thought they were better.
But then we opened fire, and gave them helvete!

We fired our guns and the terrorists kept comin'.
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We played ABBA records and scared 'em into runnin'
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

Yeah, they ran through the marshes and they ran through the Kista
and they ran through the Old Town were a Volvo couldn't go!
They ran so fast that the vallhunds couldn't catch 'em
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down
so we grabbed a lutefisk and we fought another round.
We filled his head with meatballs and powdered his behind
and when we touched the powder off, the fisk, he lost his mind!

We fired our guns and the terrorists kept comin'.
There wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago.
We played ABBA records and scared 'em into runnin'
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

Yeah, they ran through the marshes and they ran through the Kista
and they ran through the Old Town were a Volvo couldn't go!
They ran so fast that the vallhunds couldn't catch 'em
on out of Stockholm right into the archipelago!

(instrumental fadeout)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.4
How Funny: 2.4
Overall Rating: 2.4

Total Votes: 66

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   43
 43
 43
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   22
 22
 22
 

User Comments

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Peter Andersson - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
3 x 5ake News! ;-)
The Majority - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Happy Not My President Day! Protest, protest, protest the lies of a madman. Terror attack in Sweden last Friday. Nothing but pure fabrication.
The 55% - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
If you traitor twats really believe a word of this crap you're spewing, you'll MOVE to the world's new rapefugee capital in Sweden.
Dan Rather - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
I'm MP's hero!
Truth detector - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
He wouldn't, but you would. He didn't say anything about a terrorist attack in Sweden. I will, though, give you the benefit of the doubt and just assume you're incredibly stupid and easily led.
Justice Warrior - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Trump fascists burn in hell forever!
Fact Checker - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
Trump implied a terror incident in Sweden last Friday or some other refugee caused violence based on TV news about claimed suppressed refugee violence by a film director. It was another incident of Trump watching TV and getting it all wrong again. The Swedish Embassy and European Governments wanted an explanation immediately. They had drawn the same conclusions. What happened on Friday night in Sweden? A police chase with a drunk driver! And crime soaring due to the 160,000 refugees Sweden took in? Up 4% mostly with cyber crimes. Trump is a lunatic. His followers are morons. Truth Detector is a bullsh*t artist and a lying POS!
To Rights Freaks - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/02/19/politics/trump-rally-sweden/index.html
Leftie - February 20, 2017 - Report this comment
it's OK, Trump got his information off FAUX News!
Peter Andersson - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Trump gave the wrong impression hinting at a terror attack, and that Fox story was probably exaggerated in some way (I haven't seen it), but all since last spring there has been continous rioting, looting and vandalizing (car burnings mostly, but plenty of 'em) in Swedish high unemployment suburbs. As late as last night cops had to shoot themselves out of an ambush. Google rinkeby+police+shooting+february to see if there are any pages in English yet. Me, I live in the calm-almost-to-a-dull boonies but I've temporarily worked with two women here who both said they've "had to escape" and moved from the Capital suburbs because as women they could no longer walk alone outside after dark without groups of young muslim men coming up to them telling them it wasn't allowed for a women to be out alone there without a male escort, and hinting at what they'd do to them next time they saw them out alone. So they felt they had to move.
To Leftard Morons - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, as if anyone in his right mind would believe any of the FAKE NEWS of the CommuNazi Nutjobs!
Righty - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Oh yeah, a link to the Clinton Nutjobs Network! Kind of reminds me of when Dan Rather was asserting his fake National Guard memos weren't fake. The proof? He was making another newscast SAYING they weren't. Can't be fake if he repeats his assertion, can they?
Socialist Jerk Wad (Lena Dunham) - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
If you're not wearing your "lady parts" on your head and molesting your little sister, you're not American!
"Justice" Warrior - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Beating up and shooting Trump supporters to prevent them from exercising their First Amendment rights, rioting against America's lawful President, and setting some small-business-owning Muslim immigrant's limo on fire goes to demonstrate how OPEN and TOLERANT we are on the left.
Trump's Clan - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
Ripping Muslim women's face scarves off, beatng up Muslim teenagers, scrawling swastikas on minority and Jewish businesses with TRUMP in caps and Get Out messages, supporting the illegal travel Ban and having ICE seizing anyone with brown skin for mass deportations demonstrates Trump's promises to unite American and end hated, bigotry, anti-Semitism, and divisiveness!!!
MSM - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
We keep looking for Trump's insinuated "terrorist" attack in Sweden last Friday, but can't find it amidst all the world condemnation of Trump's idiotic statements (this one included)! Trump must be the dumbest POTUS ever!!!
Jenny - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
^ hey ppl, if u remove the TU from POTUS you get what Trump really is! Btw, we don't have these problems in UK. Our dumb PM makes Trump look like a monkey!
Patrick - February 21, 2017 - Report this comment
I've seen accounts of Swedes trying to acquire firearms licenses so they can protect against growing violence on the part of young Muslim men. CBS ran a story this past Sunday about Canada taking in Syrian refugees. It noted that the Canadian government screens these people, in a process that can take 9 months or longer and requires that immigrants have a sponsor or job. They are taught English. Is Canada racist, too? Canada does not want to be Syria. The refugees are coming to Canada because it is NOT Syria. They seemed to be very happy in Canada. They will make good Canadians. Once they are properly screened and have a stake in this country, Syrians can make good Americans. But we don't want the US to be Syria, either. Nor do the Syrians who try to come here.
Truth Detector - February 22, 2017 - Report this comment
Trump didn't imply anything, moronic bigoted lefturds inferred incorrect fake narrative. The boundless ignorance of democrats cannot be overstated.
SU Truth Detractor - February 23, 2017 - Report this comment
^ liar, the world media and world leaders all over the globe have confronted Trump on his non-existent terrorist attack in Sweden. The Swedish Government is the final authority and they took it that way you fake fraudulent believer and propagator of blatant lies! Lies!!!
You lose, CommuNazi Nutjobs believers. - February 25, 2017 - Report this comment
I guess those Swedes must be all "racist" and "Islamophobic" and all that stuff illiterate leftards like you hate. They just said Trump was right!

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2017/02/23/sweden-democrats-trump-was-right.html
Zen Adam B. - March 06, 2017 - Report this comment
Hopefully the Trumptards will be freed from their Stockholm Syndrome!

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