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Song Parodies -> "The Streets of New Brunswick"

Original Song Title:

"The Streets of Laredo"

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"The Streets of New Brunswick"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This probably owes more to Allen Sherman, the Weird Al Yankovic of his era, and his hilarious "The Streets of Miami."
As I wander out on the streets of New Brunswick
I head to the grease truck for a midnighting snack.
I wolf it on down and it troubles mine stomach.
And I think that I'm having a big heart attack.

So I head for the hospital called Robert Wood Johnson.
'Cause along with old Rutgers, J&J owns the town.
I tell them my symptoms, they say, "Oh, come on, son!"
It's just indigestion, so settle on down.

(It's just indigestion, so settle on down.)

I stayed overnight for some close observation.
And then they turned me loose on Somerset Street.
I'm now feeling better and I head for train station.
I'm drinking some coffee, and donuts I eat.

'Twas then that I heard, "Hey, can you spare a dollar?
I need cigarettes and some change for the food."
"Get out of my face, pal!" the bum heard me so holler.
"Keep smoking those things, and you'll really be screwed!"

(Keep smoking those things, and you'll really be screwed!)

The politics still in a city's machinery.
With construction contracts, they're very corrupt.
And at the State Theater, folks in their finery
get splattered by cabdrivers, very abrupt.

I'm nearly crashed into outside a fraternity.
You never did see such a soused-looking man.
They've been getting drunk there for about an eternity.
They're going to graduate on eight-year plan.

(They're going to graudate on eight-year plan.)

I passed by the women, Rutgers basketball players.
I said, "You showed Imus the meaning of class."
Our football team finally shuts up the naysayers.
Let's schedule Penn State, kick Paterno's...

Ask me what I like about this town, New Brunswick.
It might drive me crazy, but there's not far to go.
I can walk down the streets and not feel like a dumb hick
on the banks of the Raritan where many beers flow.

(On the banks of the Raritan where many beers flow.)
I wonder if Johnny D has ever been to New Brunswick. One of the two hospitals in town is Robert... WOOD... JOHNSON... University Hospital. The other is Saint... PETER'S.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 13
 13
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   15
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Funny interesting story here Michael—I could literaly feel Alan Sherman's kitschy karma oozing between the lines!
alvin - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
never been there..but i felt like i had after reading this
AFW - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Never been to Laredo, or New Brunswick, but I like parodies of the good old cowboy classics..good one, here
Meriadoc - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Gee...and all this time I thought you were from New Jersey, but you're really in Canada... ;-) BTW, I, the horrible, mean, greedy, oil swilling, war mongering right-winger would have given the 'bum' a dollar, but you, the angelic, compassionate, peace-loving, kum bya-singing leftie wouldn't? What wrong with this picture....? :-P
Michael Pacholek - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
What's wrong with the picture is that you're thinking Maritime Provinces, and I'm thinking Merry-Time-For-a-Geography-Lesson. Since when is there a Rutgers, or a Dunkin Donuts, in New Brunswick? And the HMGOSWMRW would've said, as he did in the Bruce Hornsby song, just for fun, "Get a job!"
MasonR - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
By George (Street), I think you've got it! Now let's see what you can do with my sleepy little borough of Highland Park!
stuart mcarthur - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
you may not have graudated (sic) from spelling classes, but you romped "parody-writing" in - 555

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