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Song Parodies -> "Cap 'n' Trade as the House Careens"

Original Song Title:

"Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines"

Original Performer:

J. Harold Murray

Parody Song Title:

"Cap 'n' Trade as the House Careens"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The Waxman-Markey bill passed the House 219-212 after much arm-twisting, and went to the Senate. I wrote this parody of the 1925 musical comedy from my imagined experience of one of those Democrat representatives who opposed the bill, of which the touted purpose is saving the planet, but the real motive is control. Similar "horse-trading" occurs on most other major federal initiatives, but this one fit the OS title.
It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
We need of course to count the beans,
And court fence-sitters on golf greens
To pass Cap 'n' Trade; how charming.
By speech persuade, don't bow to chance,
Bow to chance, bow to chance.
By speech persuade, allow no chance,
For it's the pet of H. Barry.

It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
Why, in due course we'll count the beans,
And often spend beyond your means,
So that Cap 'n' Trade's alarming.

On House's floor, 'twas barely won;
"Aye" votes were sought with Capitol gun.
When the PAC money comes, new race I'll run
So I'm not thrust out; that would harm me.
When I said "No," 'Bama divide,
'Bama deride, 'Bama he chide.
When I said "No," 'Bama he cried,
"You'll be shut out by Ed Markey!"

It's Cap 'n' Trade as the House careens.
Why, in due course we'll warn the Greens
That they can give up fondest dreams,
Sew a cap on global warming.

The first time I held out, 'twas chill;
The gavel pounding sapped my will.
I was rattled, yielded up my bill.
If I don't butt out, they could bar me.
Floor managers black-balled me out,
Stalled, did pout, maul and clout.
The party bosses all did shout,
"We'll kick him out of the party!"

On Cap 'n' Trade, much remorse now leans.
You'll plead in force, newborn your screams,
Till Congress gives back stolen means
To the Capitalist army!
Only the less-fettered private sector can end this recession and revive the global economy.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Fiddlegirl - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Clever writing and pacing on a timely topic...Love it!
Timmy1000 - July 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Glad you linked the OS - never heard of this one before. Great write on what may be one of the worst ideas ever as investment firms are already talking about making a fortune in trading and selling the credits. I think if I skip the beans, I may have extra non-used credits to sell.

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