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Song Parodies -> "Silver Tells (And "Outs" The Lone Ranger)"

Original Song Title:

"Silver Bells"

Original Performer:

Jay Livingston and Ray Evans

Parody Song Title:

"Silver Tells (And "Outs" The Lone Ranger)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Always wondered about that pair...
Hey, Lone Ranger
Rather strange, Sir:
Dressed in tight leather style
'Haps a fairy concealing his business?

Tonto, baffing?
Grab his a*s; swing?
"Riding" mile after mile
But when Silver feels ornery, hear:

Silver tells
Silver yells:
"It's come-out time, Mr. Pretty!"
Tight, they cling
Hear, "Ka-Ching!"
Poon-ish thrill: he lisps, most gay

Fav'rite hobby:
Slink each night: bed, unseen
As he hops on tush: homo, his pleasures

This is no "hunch"
See them close, scrunch
Making Tonto his queen
Yes, despite all his muscle, he's queer! [1]

Silver tells:
"See these belles?"
This "Miss" fights crime; Question: did he --
-- Have a fling?
Tonto: Swing?
Tune we trill: their blissful play! [2]

[1] Just a little joke to match the parody to TOS. Though both authors are straight, each has had gay friends of each gender.

[2] *Really* cool MIDI of "The Lone Ranger Theme", which, as everyone knows, was a piece snatched from the tail ("Finale") of Rossini's "William Tail Overture". ... oops, typo (darn flippers!) "William *Tell* Overture". (sorry)

Original "Lone Ranger Theme" on YouTube here: more talk, less music.

It's *here*! The long-awaited-by-no-one bio for FG-TT! Chuck it out! ... I mean, uh, ... :-)

© 2009 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

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Timmy1000 - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
It did seem like the pants were a little tight, or maybe they were tights. Maybe that is why he had the mask.
Old Man Ribber - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Tonto always knew. "Kimosabe" means Flaming Queen of The Plains! ;D
Mark Scotti - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Really funny write! Hi Hooooooooooooooooooooe!
2Eagle - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
I have been hearing that rumor for years and I wonder how it got started. I do know that the Lone Ranger was Jewish. Why do you think he named his horse Silver? Tonto called him "Kimosabe" which is an old forgotten Hebrew word for "Boychick". He wore a mask so the red necks on the outskirts of town wouldn't recognize him, so the Rabbi wouldn't notice he was riding his horse on the sabbath and it was a recepticle for his scroll. He was last seen at San Juan Hill with Teddy Roosevelt who got in trouble with a girl named Monica.
Patrick - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Wasn't the Lone Ranger a great uncle or other kin to the Green Hornet? Who was the inspiration for other super heroes in super tight tights? You and your accomplice really have a way with words. Or, in this case a "Hi Ho, Silver away!!" with words.
blackjack21 - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
"Hi Ho Silver, I'm gay!" 555
Fiddlegirl - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to all! (By the way, I'm *sure* it's clear whose idea this one was!) ;)

T1K: Remember Arsenio Hall's old phrase, "Things that make you say, 'Hmmm...'" ? ;)

OMR: Always funny! Thanks for v/c. :)

M Scotti and BJ21: Great minds thinking alike! Thanks for v/c. :D

2Eagle: ROFL!

Patrick: I think TT was. That's what he told *me*, anyway... ;) (LOL @ "Hi Ho, Silver away" with words"!
TonTT-No, TonTT-Know - December 09, 2009 - Report this comment
FG: Sheesh! It was *your* idea! ... well, OK, you *did* send me the concept and title switch as "Silver Smells", and yes, I *did* tweak that slightly before working on the first draft, butt.....

Timmy1000: All these super-heroes: Superman, Batman, Spider-man.... can't anyone work "comfortable" any more? Only Gamera the Invincible, with a properly-fitted shell (IMDb it). thanks!

@FG @ T1K: Funny you should choose Arsenio to quote... ')

Old Man Ribber: Good thing the LR never found out! :-D (thanks!)

Mark Scotti: I got the "ho" ref! :-D

2Eagle: Wouldn't he have named him "Gold(berg)"? (Usual disclaimer: TT have many Jewish friends, all of whom have fine sense of humor.). Only way to know: ask Tonto if LR was brissed.... :-D (thanks!)

Patrick: See reply to T1K.... Comic books dating back to the 1930s-40s: Supe, Capt. America ... and let us NOT forget (what red-blooded male, or cold-blooded reptile, ever could?) Wonder Woman. Her name came because you would always Wonder how she stuffed all of *that* into that tight little outfit. (uh, 'scuse me, gotta leave for a minute, but thanks!) and echo FG at "away with words!)

blackjack21: If our radios and TVs had better sound quality in those days (you know that cheap Japanese stuff), I'm sure that's *exactly* what he was saying! Who knew? ... Could be a whole new series on Bravo`! ... thanks, and LOL!
norCALvixen - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Lord 2East, I believe it was daughter, Alice Roosevelt that ' got into trouble' with Senator Borah(der Buffalo) from Idaho !
Tommy Turtle - December 10, 2009 - Report this comment
norCALvixen: Indeed, she did. A self-described "hedonist" - my kinda' gal! (Frank S. croons....) Thanks for another of your marvelously-Zen comments, and I'm sure that 2Eagle is grateful for the correction! :-)
TJC - December 12, 2009 - Report this comment
Sorry I'm late to your Broke-back soiree! Though I can't believe you tewe simultaneously pulled the Trigger on this one (and some mighty fine 'trick' shooting, indeed), 'twas truly Paul Revere caliber silver--, er, word-smithery at it's finest!
Tommy Turtle - December 13, 2009 - Report this comment
TJC: Just glad ewe could make it to the party! LOL @ Trigger (guess we gotta do Roy Rogers next?), and thanks for taking the time to Scout this out :-)
Andy Primus - December 16, 2009 - Report this comment
Hilarious - did you get the idea from the 1976 single, "The Lone Ranger" by "Quantum Jump"? Check out the last verse if you've got time - the entire lyrics to the song are hilarious

With the first 3 lines (repeated later) this would have to be one of the hardest songs to get the pacing exactly right - no wonder nobody has tried to do this one.
Tommy Turtle - December 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: I'm afraid I've never heard of "Quantum Jump", except in physics :) .. so we take full blame for this idea independently :-) ... That would be why *I*, at least, haven't tried to parody your song. (TT *did* do "Blinded By The Light", which isn't exactly easy to pace, and DKTOS very well, so who knows, maybe some day...

Just looked @ your lyrics link - cute! Yeah, that would be a fun challenge. Thanks for v/c!

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