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Song Parodies -> "The First Francis"

Original Song Title:

"The First Noel"

Original Performer:

Holiday Songs

Parody Song Title:

"The First Francis"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

He had to pick a name that was hard to rhyme, didn't he? Well, here goes. And I can't believe nobody wrote one about the seagull on the smokestack. Not even to the Steve Miller song, "Smoked Like a Seagull"?
The First Francis
the Conclave did say:
It was "Habemus papem!"
in Vatican's way.

In Vatican's
way they've done many times.
But will this Pope make up for
Pope Benedict's crimes?

Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis!
Launched is his reign. His ring, have you kissed?

He is Argentine
but Italian descent.
'Cause for centuries paisans
to that land, they went.
He has built quite a life
in which he's helped the poor.
But what role did the bishop
play in "Dirty War"?

Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis!
Launched is his reign. His ring, have you kissed?

In light, smoke was black.
In dark, it went white.
And the Hispanic Cardinal
came out in the night.

Some did take, as a sign
that seafaring bird.
Might he be reformer like
John the Twenty-third?

Francis, Francis, Francis, Francis!
Launched is his reign. His ring, have you kissed?
Will this get past the Amiright censor? Probably. Would it make it past the Vatican cesnor? Maybe. Remember: You can fool some of the papal some of the time. (Old joke.)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
A lot of witnesses found the gull on the chimney prophetic or at least symbolic. Church will have to wait for a Dutch or Scandinavian pope for relaxation of the celibacy rule. That could take a while. Though most people don't know there are some married priests in the Western Rite of the Catholic Church. Converts from Anglican or Lutheran faiths can be accepted into the priesthood as married men. So, there is precedent. The Eastern Rite churches have always had married priests. While you see celibate Catholic priests all the time in movies and TV, you never see a married convert or Eastern priest.
Jonathan - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
5's FRANCIS Fran-cis not Frank not Frankie FRANCIS! here's a cookie for whoever gets the movie reference!
Lifeliver - March 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Just a passing glance at this the other day. On a closer read, rather good, Michael, working in the inevitable fallibility of the newbie's pointy-hatted predecessors quite subtly. 555s to counterbalance the possibly politically-motivated one-scores. As for ornithological omens, just crumbs when the sheep clear out.
Wendy Christopher - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Liked this a lot - very clever. Does the twin uno-bomb score mean the Vatican are reading the Amiright pages too, d'you think? Not sure why that thought amuses me as much as it does... but I shall also award this 555 to offset their unholy voting - and also because it's a top job :^)

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