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Song Parodies -> "Harvey Couldn't Help It"

Original Song Title:

"Bessie Couldn't Help It"

Original Performer:

Hoagy Carmichael

Parody Song Title:

"Harvey Couldn't Help It"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

The surnames have been omitted to protect the presumed innocent. See TOS here. I have heard the following spoken lines on radio but have not found them in any search:
It wasn't that poor Bessie really wanted to be bad;
It's just she couldn't hold on to everything she had!
Harvey couldn't help it
Harvey couldn't help it
Harvey couldn't help it any more than John could or Al could
Harvey couldn't help it though he tried to be good, Oh! So good

He was witty as the heavens above
Oh! Boy, the gals he would love
Harvey had afflictions that were simply wonderful, terrible
But Harvey couldn't help it any more than Ted could or Bill could

It wasn't that big Harvey really wanted to be bad;
It's just that he had told her to meet him in his pad!

When she smiled he was bound to fall, that's all
A coy miss Harvey pinned in ardor one night
Why, oh! Why didn't she yell "That's not right!"?
'Cause Harvey couldn't help it any more than Roy could or Matt could

Young Roy couldn't help it any more than John could or Al could
No young Roy couldn't help it though he tried to be good, Oh! So good

She was fourteen, he was eighteen above [1]
But oh! Boy how that girl he'd love
Young Roy had affection that was simply unlawful
Young Roy couldn't help it any more than Ted could, or Bill could

It wasn't that A. D.A. [2] really wanted to be bad;
It's just that he was old 'nough to be her lovin' dad!

Now when she smiled he was bound to fall, that's all.
Boy! Roy kissed that girl on the cheeks one night
My oh! My how she swelled with delight
Young Roy couldn't help it any more than Harvey or Matt could

None of them could help it any more than you could or I could

[1] i.e., 32 years of age.
[2] Assistant District Attorney refers to his alleged yearbook signature "D. A."

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 1

Voting Breakdown

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