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Song Parodies -> "Don't Like Stalking"

Original Song Title:

"Late Night Talking"

Original Performer:

Harry Styles

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Like Stalking"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "I Want Music" self-challenge. Why is movie portraying creepy obsessiveness as an admirable trait?
Hope this trope has gone away
'Cause it makes the writers look insane
They haven't quite considered the frame that they just used, mmm, yeah-eah-eah-eah
To tell a story of romance
And wave off crimes as part of that? Yuck
All those scenes meant to be sad now don't ring true

Don't hunt ladies down if you wanna make things sappier, buddy
The quick turn-around from "Gross!" to "Cute!" is just tackier, buddy

The viewers don't want this, don't like stalkin'
Can't not know it's a problem, should start watchin'
More reviews to find that folks hate this storyline

The poor girl tries to get away
As he follows her to any place
But he claims he wants to "keep her safe"? Nice try there, douche, ooh-ooh

Breaks into her house, that's one way to get me angrier, buddy
Watches her sleep now, why's the music gettin' sappier, buddy?

Only weirdos want this, don't like stalkin'
Won't make a Hallmark moment as they're watchin'
Wouldn't have to try to make scary trailers, yikes

All I can say is "Yikes"
The script is full of "Yikes" (and that's me bein' nice)
I just want this guy (want this creepy guy)
To make a weighed-down dive (ol' cement block dive)

Only assholes want this, don't like stalkin'
Should not get pricks encouraged, hope it's stoppin'
This and other shite put me off rom-coms for life

Because this trope is "Yikes" (awful, don't like stalkin') (hate it)
A giant ball of "Yikes" (awful, don't like stalkin') (big "Yikes")
Have to roll my eyes (awful, don't like stalkin')
Needs a few rewrites (awful, don't like stalkin')

"Oh, crap! Is she a stalker? Wait. If she's cute it's okay, rig—No, this is bad. It might go like... She might stab me! Or set my house on fire! And what if she takes my parents hostage?... But, maybe she has a nice personality. Then it would be okay, right?... Wait. If she did, she wouldn't be stalking me!" - Mikado, "Durarara!!"

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Labyrinth Honest Trailer - December 30, 2022 - Report this comment
"...David Bowie, who will have you spellbound by his magic tricks, dancing, and his...uhhh, Major Tom [close-up on David Bowie's prominent codpiece], and by the hypnotic way he pronounces 'baby' in a performance so iconic, you won't even care he's playing a kidnapper with the hots for a sixteen-year-old."


"But you know what? Who cares? 'Cause David Bowie is f*cking awesome! That guy could do whatever he wanted to me in his magic goblin castle!"
SKULLINADESERT - January 06, 2023 - Report this comment
Durarara was a good anime! I even read the manga... 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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