Song Parodies -> "Got A Square You Can Spare?"

Original Song Title:

"There's A Tear In My Beer"

Original Performer:

"Got A Square You Can Spare?"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

My first country parody! I might have mixed Sr.'s and Jr.'s versions a bit here lyrics wise. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Oh, this parody is gross, you've been warned.....

Got a square you can spare?
'cause I'm askin' in despair
I've no TP for my 'hind
I used my last nine squares
For my dirty derriere
Need some TP for my 'hind

I gonna.. keep sittin' scared
You know I'm petrified
I go searchin',
Butt squares I can not find

Got a square you can spare?
'cause I'm askin' in despair
I've no TP for my 'hind

Next time use less not more,
I've said that once before
It.. just must of slipped my mind
Help this guy in the loo,
The friendly thing to do
"You are out your freakin' mind!"

Two hours.. I'm sittin' here
On this cold porce'lain throne
Still.. I'm searchin',
For TP of my own

Got a square you can spare?
'cause I'm askin' in despair
I've no TP for my 'hind

Oh I cried and I cried
No one cared of my plight
I've no paper for my 'hind
Empty tubes, TP's out
This restroom is unsound
Still need somethin' for my 'hind

And now I.. am thinkin',
I have one final chance
Off.. with my trousers,
And my underpants

If you care how I fared
I used my underwear
You.. would do the same as I..!

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Peter Andersson - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment

Not previously familiar with this song, but I managed to quickly google (that’s the term even when using altavista, right?) out a version by a band calling themselves the Knuckle Dusters. The subject is totally unsophisticated and more than just a little bit below the belt (but it fits the desperate tone of the song well), hence it gets three 5s. (I’m in that mood today, and I once had to sacrifice a t-shirt and both my socks when I was out running in the forest and came down with (description left out on reasons of good taste) so I can relate).

Billy Boyd - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment

Surprised to see you doo this kind of OS, but it was definately funny stuff, and timely as well, since this is a big eating day. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and all 5's.

AFW - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment

Looks like a brown out, here....Happy Holiday...

Adagio - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment

I didn't know the song, but looked it up. Good, gross work Jack! 5's

Red Ant - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanks Peter, Billy Boyd, AFW and Pat.

Peter: .."I was out running in the forest..."; been there, done that. Its much safer to use articles of clothing than unfamiliar foliage, a poison ivy/oak/sumac rash *there* would be a horrible thing. And yes, it did fit the desperation of TOS well if I do say.

Matthias - June 10, 2016 - Report this comment

Disgusting... I'm not reallu a fan of poop jokes and the part about wiping with your underwear was pretty graphic but overall not bad

bobpiecheese - June 17, 2016 - Report this comment

(ABC) Contrary to what Matthias said, this is actually the least graphic poop-related parody I've read. A little repetitive and basic, but that suits the OS I feel. 555 used bog rolls!

Agrimorfee - June 18, 2016 - Report this comment

Country parodies seem to turn out that way, bobpiecheese ...direct and to the point. Well done, Red Ant!

Abbott Skelding - June 20, 2016 - Report this comment

I'm not above a good potty humor parody. I've never heard the original (I'm not a big country guy), but the title sub was good and the spoof was pretty darn good if you ask me. Nice work!

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