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Song Parodies -> "I'm My Own Girlfriend"
Original Song Title:
"I'm My Own Grampa"
Original Performer:
Guy Lombardo
Parody Song Title:
"I'm My Own Girlfriend"
Parody Written by:
Rick Duncan
The Lyrics
Always hard to do a comedy song of a comedy song. But if you want something done right......you know the rest.
Many, many years ago when I was 24
I couldn't get attention, and I couldn't ever score
I found that I was flexible enough to bend and fold
The farther that I bent on down meant less was in the cold
This made my head the one I love and it became my gal
I found it very satisfying for my little pal
I didn't need to brave the bars or risk some weird disease
Just bought myself a drink, I only had myself to please
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
That I'm always set to go
I'm my own girlfriend
A little lively music sort of puts me in the mood
A little wine, a little chat, a little home-cooked food
Sometimes my mother calls and asks if I have found "The One"
I tell her yes, and if they met she'd love her like a son
How happier I've been since I developed this cute trick
Though chiropractors I employ to fix my spinal crick
And sometimes in the mirror I think this is sort of gay
But a little rouge and lipstick and those thoughts just go away
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a job that's good to blow
I'm my own girlfriend
Whenever I come home real late, I never criticize
When e'er I need to tinkle I just sing and harmonize
Togetherness like this cannot be found with anyone
Although we can't go public, or society would shun
Now I'm a little older and I'm not quite so elastic
But still my top half loves the rest, and it is still fantastic
And best of all, I'll never leave me, and you all know why
If that should ever happen I just know I'll up and die
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a love I won't outgrow
I'm my own girlfriend
I couldn't get attention, and I couldn't ever score
I found that I was flexible enough to bend and fold
The farther that I bent on down meant less was in the cold
This made my head the one I love and it became my gal
I found it very satisfying for my little pal
I didn't need to brave the bars or risk some weird disease
Just bought myself a drink, I only had myself to please
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
That I'm always set to go
I'm my own girlfriend
A little lively music sort of puts me in the mood
A little wine, a little chat, a little home-cooked food
Sometimes my mother calls and asks if I have found "The One"
I tell her yes, and if they met she'd love her like a son
How happier I've been since I developed this cute trick
Though chiropractors I employ to fix my spinal crick
And sometimes in the mirror I think this is sort of gay
But a little rouge and lipstick and those thoughts just go away
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a job that's good to blow
I'm my own girlfriend
Whenever I come home real late, I never criticize
When e'er I need to tinkle I just sing and harmonize
Togetherness like this cannot be found with anyone
Although we can't go public, or society would shun
Now I'm a little older and I'm not quite so elastic
But still my top half loves the rest, and it is still fantastic
And best of all, I'll never leave me, and you all know why
If that should ever happen I just know I'll up and die
I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a love I won't outgrow
I'm my own girlfriend
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Place Your Vote |
Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 4 | 4 | 3 | 5 | ||||||||
| 5 | 29 | 31 | 28 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
I'm getting weird images here today and this is the wierdest...."Though chiropractors I employ to fix my spinal crick" lol 5's (Although I spent the entire song imagining the contortions)
Keep writing parodies this deep and you'll get the bends.
15 vertebrae.
I've heard of a guy who did something like this, though he didn't carry it to such extremes. By the way, the one line would pace a little better if it said "...that I'm all set to go."
Ow. This is great.
Well, I can see why this hasn't been done (yet?) at the coffeehouse.
(sotm) Nice pacing.
(SOTM) I found it hard to swallow, but 555 anyway. (;))
(SOTM) Sounds like the perfect auto-fellationship! This parody was utterly hilarious, Rick. 555
(SOTM) Unless I get severe osteoporosis(God forbid) or gets johnwaynebobbited (GOD FORBID) I will never be able judge this parody from a point of experice. So I'll just judge it from a point of LOL which means some 5s.
Easily the best lyrics about autofellating I've ever read. I had heard of the original, but never actually heard it, so I found an MP3 of an old version by "Lonzo & Oscar." Hilarious - thanks for introducing me to that. And the parody measures up well thanks to the tremendous wit throughout. (I was going to start quoting favorite bits but there are too many of them.) Excellent.
Still in pain from the first time. Laughing so hard I mean.
(SOTM) Rick, can't recall how the Guy Lombardo song goes...but this was incredibly funny...kinda put a new spin and some interesting imagery to the sentiment behind "Love The One Your With", though...hmmm....maybe a parody idea there...
I thought I'd commented on this already... this one deserves a big hand... er... to go down in history.. er.. or something like that :-)
I thought Tom "Mr. Stupid" Arnold was the original artist from watching the movie "The Stupids." That was hysterical, and I would love to laugh at this parody. This is a job well done. 5-5-5.
Good one Rick, I really enjoyed this.
(SOTM) See above, or below.
SOTM--just when I thought the original couldn't be any funnier...nice work, Rick!
(SOTM) that's hilarious Rick - do you swallow??
Very well rhymed with a lot of good lines, particularly "love her like a son."
See, that's why the law makes no sense. Love is beautiful in all it's forms. A man should be allowed to marry himself if he wants to... or would that screw up the relationship?
(SOTM) Good job.
Good job...got to learn a new original song too!
(SOTM) I was LOL to this one!
(SOTM) DKTOS Rick, but LOL anyway!
That was so sickl!!!! terrible Rick!!!
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