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Song Parodies -> "I Am A Most Beleaguered Former Pakistani General"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am A Most Beleaguered Former Pakistani General"

Parody Written by:

John Jenkins

The Lyrics

(President Pervez Musharraf)
I am a most beleaguered former Pakistani general
Whose country is not well endowed with oil or with minerals.
But, if we were, my cabinet and I would be a rowdy clique
And I would have a palace and be treated like a Saudi sheik.

Though a poor land, we’re often found on satellite photography,
As nations in the West fixate on our unique geography:
Divided by Iran, but still between Iraq and a hard place,
Which is why I fear Pakistan might soon be rendered a charred trace.

(Cabinet)
Which is why he fears Pakistan might soon be rendered a charred trace.(X3)

(Musharraf)
Goals of my allies and my people are so contradictory
That never in a million years will we see peace or victory.
In short, I fear my current term will turn out to be ephemeral;
I am a most beleaguered former Pakistani general.

Though sometimes in our Indo wars, our methods were unsavory,
I earned the rank of general by showing off my bravery.
Then when my nation’s government required some correctioning,
I became the new president by skipping the electioning.

Though I like to see myself as a modern Muslim Bonaparte,
I still have foes who want to see my infrastructure blown apart.
To disparage me and take my place, a lengthy line soon would form
If I were ever seen without my medals and my uniform.

(Cabinet)
He just cannot be seen without his medals and his uniform.(X3)

But critics think that manners in the army are reptilian;
So, to stay in power, I stepped down and am now civilian.
In short, I fear my current term will turn out to be ephemeral;
I am a most beleaguered former Pakistani general.

The West wants me to be in charge of things here in Islamabad
Because they fear Al-Qaeda and they really think Osama’s bad.
George Bush and I both fear another Middle East insurgency,
Which gives me the excuse to claim a national emergency.

Former friends are frigid now that I’ve implemented martial law.
But I hope for global warming so I might see a partial thaw.
Ms. Bhutto is unstable, as I often hear her spouse attest,
Which is why I had the state police put her under house arrest.

(Cabinet)
Which is why he had the state police put her under house arrest.(X3)

(Musharraf)
The other parties claim I don’t have constitutionality
So living in a prison might become their new reality.
But still, I fear my current term will turn out to be ephemeral;
I am a most beleaguered former Pakistani general.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 4   2
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User Comments

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Guy - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
JJ - I guess he can't shop in the general store now. Even if he did he probably couldn't buy anything specific. Especially liked:

To disparage me and take my place, a lengthy line soon would form
If I were ever seen without my medals and my uniform:

This spoof on the subject was way over the top. SOTM material.
Dee Range - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Brilliant, JJ. Perfect triple rhymes all the way through, great story line about current events, and funny as hell. The global warming/partial thaw had me howling.
alvin - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
infotaiment at its best....love it
John Barry - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Pervezctly wonderful.
AFW - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Very good spoofing, Generally speaking
Invisible Boy - December 11, 2007 - Report this comment
OK, I must admit, before I started hanging around here, I had never heard of this OS before. Now, I realize it's one of the rites of passage of parody writers here. You do an excellent job of combining a song parody with a political treatise. Also, I admit, you made me go and look up the word "ephemeral"
John Jenkins - December 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments and votes. Guy, he definitely can no longer make any Major purchases. IB, if you really want to stretch your vocabulary, keep reading John Barry parodies.
stuart mcarthur - December 12, 2007 - Report this comment
word for word what Dee said - literally (now that's spooky) - in fact I almost typed those very words - and you've gotta take credit for "between Iraq and a hard place" JJ - 555
Bob Konigsberg - June 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Good Job John - I just discovered that you'd also written a parody to Modern Major General when looking up to see who else had. It's a small fraternity. all 5's.
marthadtox - September 13, 2008 - Report this comment
so many fantastic lines I love martial law and partial thaw!!

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