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Song Parodies -> "The Sport-Utility's Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Major-General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"The Sport-Utility's Song"

Parody Written by:

wannabemustangjockey

The Lyrics

The Chevy Equinox has an argument with the board of General Motors in front of all of their customers. GM tries to get the SUV to shut up.
[SUV]
I am the very model of a modern sport-utility,
I look the part but sadly I have no off-road ability
My engine has no power and I don't have great agility
At least in highway cruising though, I've suitable civility
I may not be the sportiest, your buddies may not think I'm cool
But I will get the groceries home and take the kiddies off to school
I'll get you to the mall and back and none will ever bat an eye ...
But take me on the Rubicon and I think that we BOTH would die.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
Don't take it on the Rubicon; it isn't made to climb that high
You're not driving a Jeep; of course we must advise you not to try
You'll void the warranty and like the car said, yes, it's true you both could die.

[SUV]
I look almost identical to vehicles made in Japan
But au contraire! Most of my parts content is North American
My engine's made in China but the rest came in from Mexico
And where those other parts were cast, well I myself don't even know.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
The engine's made in China, yes, but we think that it suits it so
It's cheap for us to make and sell, and that is what we do, you know!

[SUV]
May I present to you: myself, a brand new Chevy Equinox
I'm full of practicality and GM built me "Like a Rock"
I have some storage places for a Frappuccino and a phone
A cubby holds your opener, the glove box is your Napkin Zone
A navigation system, XM radio by satellite
And OnStar, which will help you if you lock yourself out late at night
Or so claimed all the ads which said I was a truck extraordinaire
Except I cannot hold as much as that sport wagon over there!

[GENERAL MOTORS]
That's true, it cannot hold as much as sporty wagons (with more flair)
But if you have to haul a soccer team, relax, we've come prepared
Upgrade to a Suburban and we're sure that you'll get them all safely there.

[SUV]
It seemed like I was poised to take the sales spot for number one
The buyers just kept rolling in, in search of adventure and fun
But then some guy decided that he'd give my four-wheel-drive a shot ...
I found myself high-centered on a curb in Wal-Mart's parking lot.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
We think that we have covered all the things this vehicle is not
So why must you rehash them? It's like rubbing salt into a clot!

[SUV]
The company that built me came up with a very simple plan:
They slapped a truckish body on the chassis of a minivan
I have a unibody structure, not a pickup's ladder frame
It results in a car-like ride, or so my builders often claim
The crash protection's better (if I find a dummy, I will ask)
We'll see if this is truly an improvement, or take them to task
I'd like to be a fav-o-rite of buyers in the USA
But first they have to trust GM and I don't think they do today.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
We hope our customers come in and tell us what they have to say
But we'd prefer that what they shout is "Sell me something, right away!"
In that case, we have what you want ... let's make a deal right now, okay?

[SUV]
My grille is huge; it has a bar that looks like a chrome two-by-four
The Chevy logo's bigger than the handle on the driver's door
I think they're compensating, otherwise I wouldn't need this crap
I don't think that it's fair for me to get the sport-ute's lousy rap!

[GENERAL MOTORS]
It doesn't matter to us, SUVs are still the biggest crop
As long as they keep selling, hey -- why should we even try to stop?
(c) 2006 Jay the Wannabe Mustang Jockey -- I don't just write song parodies

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
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 13
 

User Comments

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John Barry - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
If only GM's business model were as well-crafted as this superb parody.
Cat - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
"a truckish body on the chassis of a minivan"...is THAT what those ugly things I've been seeing on the road are? Man, even though you usually stick to your central topic, you are one of the most amazing parodists I've ever seen. Do you even have a life outside of AmIRight?? But while we're on the topic of cars, it would be neat if you did a parody dissing those Scion cars, those atrociously hideous rolling refrigerators of cars that are actually being marketed as hip for young people. Every time I see one on the road (which is scarily quite often) I can't help but think, "Who gave the green light to THAT design?!"
Arwen - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
LOL!! Fabulous work here...totally made me laugh, and I accidentally learned something about the Equinox, too...; )

Favorite line: "And where those other parts were cast, well I myself don't even know."
Johnny D - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
Plant your flag, wannabemustangjockey, you successfully reached the summit of one of the classic AmIRight peaks. Congratulations & well done.
Stuart McArthur - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
great effort, wbmj, and it's niceto have confidence in the parodist's pacing ability as you read a MMG parody - I'm not interested the slightest in cars but I loved the flow - 555
Rick C - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, as Stu mentioned, it flows very well to the OS. 555
TJC - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Love it and the obvious insider knowledge you imply... great pacing and I think Stuart's comments say it all for me..5's
The Charnstar - September 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great work there, I'm just not very into that sorta stuff.. cars and jazz... but it was pretty good.. 5-5-5 anyway LOL!
Agrimorfee - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This parody is definitely not an Edsel! (now I have to scale that summit...)
wannabemustangjockey - September 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Agri - I wouldn't be worried about an Edsel so much as a Yugo...
Matthias - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Even a Dipstick can realize this one was good
Chris Bodily TM - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I really got a kick out of this parody, and I must commend you for doing such a hard song. I think we're all gonna be MG'd out in the coming months, though. I loved the lyrics, the humor, the satire, the lack of repetition. I'm not into cars, but this parody has a nice set of wheels. 555
Cat - September 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - September 23, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Not a single flat tire line here...
Tim Mayfield - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Clever, crafty, delightful, awesome, relative, gutsy, profound. I think this is a work of art. Great job.
Rick C - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I gotta get me that SUV! I just gotta have room for that Frappucino and cell phone.
Johnny D - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
bobpiecheese - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Some parodists are just too goo for their own good, so to speak. For example, YOU. Duh. You're lucky your car parodies are so awesome that no-one has the time to call you 'one-track-minded'. Oops...
Michael McVey - September 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well-written, and good points. -- MM
Stuart McArthur - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above, and you really are taking the author advice "Write about what you know" to a whole new level, wannabe
Kristof Robertson - September 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Although I'm totally anti-SUV, I think this is a very clever parody. 555
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done, works well with the OS. Original idea.

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