[SUV]
I am the very model of a modern sport-utility,
I look the part but sadly I have no off-road ability
My engine has no power and I don't have great agility
At least in highway cruising though, I've suitable civility
I may not be the sportiest, your buddies may not think I'm cool
But I will get the groceries home and take the kiddies off to school
I'll get you to the mall and back and none will ever bat an eye ...
But take me on the Rubicon and I think that we BOTH would die.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
Don't take it on the Rubicon; it isn't made to climb that high
You're not driving a Jeep; of course we must advise you not to try
You'll void the warranty and like the car said, yes, it's true you both could die.

[SUV]
I look almost identical to vehicles made in Japan
But au contraire! Most of my parts content is North American
My engine's made in China but the rest came in from Mexico
And where those other parts were cast, well I myself don't even know.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
The engine's made in China, yes, but we think that it suits it so
It's cheap for us to make and sell, and that is what we do, you know!

[SUV]
May I present to you: myself, a brand new Chevy Equinox
I'm full of practicality and GM built me "Like a Rock"
I have some storage places for a Frappuccino and a phone
A cubby holds your opener, the glove box is your Napkin Zone
A navigation system, XM radio by satellite
And OnStar, which will help you if you lock yourself out late at night
Or so claimed all the ads which said I was a truck extraordinaire
Except I cannot hold as much as that sport wagon over there!

[GENERAL MOTORS]
That's true, it cannot hold as much as sporty wagons (with more flair)
But if you have to haul a soccer team, relax, we've come prepared
Upgrade to a Suburban and we're sure that you'll get them all safely there.

[SUV]
It seemed like I was poised to take the sales spot for number one
The buyers just kept rolling in, in search of adventure and fun
But then some guy decided that he'd give my four-wheel-drive a shot ...
I found myself high-centered on a curb in Wal-Mart's parking lot.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
We think that we have covered all the things this vehicle is not
So why must you rehash them? It's like rubbing salt into a clot!

[SUV]
The company that built me came up with a very simple plan:
They slapped a truckish body on the chassis of a minivan
I have a unibody structure, not a pickup's ladder frame
It results in a car-like ride, or so my builders often claim
The crash protection's better (if I find a dummy, I will ask)
We'll see if this is truly an improvement, or take them to task
I'd like to be a fav-o-rite of buyers in the USA
But first they have to trust GM and I don't think they do today.

[GENERAL MOTORS]
We hope our customers come in and tell us what they have to say
But we'd prefer that what they shout is "Sell me something, right away!"
In that case, we have what you want ... let's make a deal right now, okay?

[SUV]
My grille is huge; it has a bar that looks like a chrome two-by-four
The Chevy logo's bigger than the handle on the driver's door
I think they're compensating, otherwise I wouldn't need this crap
I don't think that it's fair for me to get the sport-ute's lousy rap!

[GENERAL MOTORS]
It doesn't matter to us, SUVs are still the biggest crop
As long as they keep selling, hey -- why should we even try to stop?