When I was a lad I went to Yale.
Because of my father I couldn't fail.
For beer and whiskey I had a jones
and I became a member of the Skull and Bones.
(He became a member of the Skull and Bones.)

I was a Bones member so secretly
that I made it through the University.
(He was a Bones member so secretly
that he made it through the Uni...versity!)

I found my way to the National Guard.
Because of my Dad, it really wasn't hard.
I flew me a jet plane, and furthermore
it's obsolete, that kept me out of the war.
(It's obsolete, that kept him out of the war.)

I showed up for duty so infrequently
that they never noticed my drunkency.
(He should up for duty so infrequently
that they never noticed his... drunkency!)

Well, I went down to Texas to drill for oil
and millions of dollars, I did spoil.
I ran my mouth and I ran up debts
but my Dad's friends are good as it gets.
(Yes, his Dad's friends are good as it gets.)

I learned how to schmooze and I was so great
that I became the Gov'nor of the Lone Star State.
(He learned how to schmooze and he was so great
that he became the Gov'nor of the... Lone Star State!)

My record as Governor was so poor
but I knew that I could beat old Al Gore.
I said I would be moral and I'd give tax cuts.
Thank God the Supreme Court showed some guts!
(Thank God the Supreme Court showed some guts!)

I pushed tax cuts and morality
and now I am the leader of the whole country!
(Tax cuts! Morality!
And now he is the leader of the... whole country!)

When we got attacked by the terrorists
I clenched my teeth and I clenched my fists.
I said "I want bin Laden" again and again
but I'd rather go after Saddam Hussein.
(Yes, he'd rather go after Saddam Hussein!)

I clobbered Saddam so completely
that now I am the leader of his country!
(He beat! Saddam! So completely
that now he is the leader of... that country!)

I ran for re-election with lovely ploy:
Defaming the record of that Medal Boy.
I know your job's gone and I gave Osama slack
but Kerry don't know what to do in Iraq!
(He thinks Kerry don't know how to fix Iraq!)

I beat John Kerry overwhelmingly!
Just look at the red map of this country!
(He beat John Kerry overwhelmingly!
Just loko at the red map of... this country!)

So I thank Old Yale
and I thank my Dad...

And I thank the press for saying
that I ain't so bad!
(And he's grateful to the press
oh yes he's grateful to the press
oh yes he's grateful to the press
'cause they won't say he's bad!)