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Song Parodies -> "Food Designed to Lighten, Pare More"

Original Song Title:

"Never Mind the Why and Wherefore"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Food Designed to Lighten, Pare More"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

TOS fits the upcoming British royal wedding perfectly, but I recalled its phrase "the lower middle class" while hearing the U.S. president use it repeatedly in recent campaign-prequel speeches. He promises to raise taxes only on "the rich" to reduce the deficit, while he "community organizes" the unions and left-wing activists to intimidate opposition, and the first lady fights childhood obesity by "suggesting" menus for school meals.
Ever finding lies that snare more,
Government its ranks will care for. [1]
Through its treasury so mighty,
The economy can strain.
Through its wastes unseen and flighty,
Private fortune's sure to drain.

Bring the moderates on-board ship,
Rend the airwaves' warbling wild. [2]
Forge the unions; their great hordes whip.
Keep the humbling right wing riled.

Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's schooled speech reader
And a star who wows the sleeker. [3]

Hit the fairways, poison-laden; [4]
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin'; [5]
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.

Ever blind to rising debt score,
Dems want evil rich to share more.
Though they've brought up legislation,
You can bet 'twould scarcely pass;
So they talk of higher station
For the lower middle class.

Sting the wealthy swells with hardship,
Rending fair share from their pile.
Give the unions check-off cardship
With two thumbs up and a smile.

Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's fooled each pleader.
Ev'ry czar's new power seeker.

Hit the fairways, poison-laden;
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin';
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.

Food designed to lighten, pare more,
Government kids thank three squares for.
Please admit the purest fiction
May be claims you're saving hearts;
You have placed a firm restriction
On all pleasant-tasting parts.

Spring's new menu tells of features
Vegetarian and mild;
For the unions of the teachers
Want no stumbling captive child.

Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's cool to Seder, [6]
But afar, his bows to sheiks err.

Hit the fairways, poison-laden.
Sting the wealthy swells with hardship.
Forgive unions' state-house raidin'.
Give the unions check-off cardship.

Send mad throngs who dare to shove
O'er the plan from cruel Herr Gov.
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the man who rules Big Gov.
[1] Although some states have shed employees, the feds have added over 200,000 civilians in 27 months.
[2] Regulate conservative talk-radio and cable TV through the FCC.
[3] E.g., celebrities from Hollywood and popular musicians.
[4] Runoff contributes to waterway pollution.
[5] Contrasts protests in Wisconsin (a presidential swing state) with peaceful, clean Tea Party rallies.
[6] I.e., Israel.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

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Barry J. Mitchel - April 25, 2011 - Report this comment
An alternative to the first and second lines of stanza 9 is:
Meals for diets diabetic,
Uncanned bev's rate rank "pathetic".

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