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Song Parodies -> "Food Designed to Lighten, Pare More"
Original Song Title:
"Never Mind the Why and Wherefore"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"Food Designed to Lighten, Pare More"
Parody Written by:
Barry J. Mitchel
The Lyrics
TOS fits the upcoming British royal wedding perfectly, but I recalled its phrase "the lower middle class" while hearing the U.S. president use it repeatedly in recent campaign-prequel speeches. He promises to raise taxes only on "the rich" to reduce the deficit, while he "community organizes" the unions and left-wing activists to intimidate opposition, and the first lady fights childhood obesity by "suggesting" menus for school meals.
Ever finding lies that snare more,
Government its ranks will care for. [1]
Through its treasury so mighty,
The economy can strain.
Through its wastes unseen and flighty,
Private fortune's sure to drain.
Bring the moderates on-board ship,
Rend the airwaves' warbling wild. [2]
Forge the unions; their great hordes whip.
Keep the humbling right wing riled.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's schooled speech reader
And a star who wows the sleeker. [3]
Hit the fairways, poison-laden; [4]
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin'; [5]
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.
Ever blind to rising debt score,
Dems want evil rich to share more.
Though they've brought up legislation,
You can bet 'twould scarcely pass;
So they talk of higher station
For the lower middle class.
Sting the wealthy swells with hardship,
Rending fair share from their pile.
Give the unions check-off cardship
With two thumbs up and a smile.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's fooled each pleader.
Ev'ry czar's new power seeker.
Hit the fairways, poison-laden;
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin';
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.
Food designed to lighten, pare more,
Government kids thank three squares for.
Please admit the purest fiction
May be claims you're saving hearts;
You have placed a firm restriction
On all pleasant-tasting parts.
Spring's new menu tells of features
Vegetarian and mild;
For the unions of the teachers
Want no stumbling captive child.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's cool to Seder, [6]
But afar, his bows to sheiks err.
Hit the fairways, poison-laden.
Sting the wealthy swells with hardship.
Forgive unions' state-house raidin'.
Give the unions check-off cardship.
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
O'er the plan from cruel Herr Gov.
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the man who rules Big Gov.
Government its ranks will care for. [1]
Through its treasury so mighty,
The economy can strain.
Through its wastes unseen and flighty,
Private fortune's sure to drain.
Bring the moderates on-board ship,
Rend the airwaves' warbling wild. [2]
Forge the unions; their great hordes whip.
Keep the humbling right wing riled.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's schooled speech reader
And a star who wows the sleeker. [3]
Hit the fairways, poison-laden; [4]
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin'; [5]
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.
Ever blind to rising debt score,
Dems want evil rich to share more.
Though they've brought up legislation,
You can bet 'twould scarcely pass;
So they talk of higher station
For the lower middle class.
Sting the wealthy swells with hardship,
Rending fair share from their pile.
Give the unions check-off cardship
With two thumbs up and a smile.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's fooled each pleader.
Ev'ry czar's new power seeker.
Hit the fairways, poison-laden;
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the unions' state-house raidin';
O'er Scott's plan, they'd stone Herr Gov.
Food designed to lighten, pare more,
Government kids thank three squares for.
Please admit the purest fiction
May be claims you're saving hearts;
You have placed a firm restriction
On all pleasant-tasting parts.
Spring's new menu tells of features
Vegetarian and mild;
For the unions of the teachers
Want no stumbling captive child.
Hear a mumbling Senate Leader.
Watch a bawling tanned House Speaker.
See a lord who's cool to Seder, [6]
But afar, his bows to sheiks err.
Hit the fairways, poison-laden.
Sting the wealthy swells with hardship.
Forgive unions' state-house raidin'.
Give the unions check-off cardship.
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
O'er the plan from cruel Herr Gov.
Send mad throngs who dare to shove
For the man who rules Big Gov.
[1] Although some states have shed employees, the feds have added over 200,000 civilians in 27 months.
[2] Regulate conservative talk-radio and cable TV through the FCC.
[3] E.g., celebrities from Hollywood and popular musicians.
[4] Runoff contributes to waterway pollution.
[5] Contrasts protests in Wisconsin (a presidential swing state) with peaceful, clean Tea Party rallies.
[6] I.e., Israel.
[2] Regulate conservative talk-radio and cable TV through the FCC.
[3] E.g., celebrities from Hollywood and popular musicians.
[4] Runoff contributes to waterway pollution.
[5] Contrasts protests in Wisconsin (a presidential swing state) with peaceful, clean Tea Party rallies.
[6] I.e., Israel.
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| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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An alternative to the first and second lines of stanza 9 is:
Meals for diets diabetic,
Uncanned bev's rate rank "pathetic".
Meals for diets diabetic,
Uncanned bev's rate rank "pathetic".
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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