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Song Parodies -> "I am the Very Master of all Errors Typographical"

Original Song Title:

"I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I am the Very Master of all Errors Typographical"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

Parody 100, to slam the typos in ~95 of my other parodies. Have a laugh at my expense. :-)
Me:
I am the very master of all errors typographical
Wrong punctuation deplorable, terrible, and horrible
I somehow butcher English, my handwriting is illegible
(From ampersands and commas too, no order parenthetical)

Know very well I'm daunted, too, with matters alphabetical
Should understand the usage, it's practically impossible
Suffer carpal tunnel syndrome regretting poor posture too..
From many stupid acts concerning wrongful semicolon use

Chorus:
From many stupid acts concerning wrongful semicolon use
From many stupid acts concerning wrongful semicolon use
From many stupid acts concerning wrongful semicolon colon use

Me:
Not very good at anything it's borderline ridiculous
Don't know exactly why I feel the need for double negatives
Unsure, it boggles, incredible, wonderful, it's magical?
I am the very master of all errors typographical

Chorus:
Unsure, it boggles, incredible, laughable?, it's terrible!
He is the very master of all errors typographical

Me:
It's such terrific mystery, so awful and unorthodox
I need to get around this, and finally get my point across
I write in my archaic ways nothing really so fabulous
Laconic I'll show more dissimilarities miraculous !

When using participles there should be no ambiguity
Absolute constructions are acceptable grammatically
Well I can follow rules of which the dictionary's said before..
But disregard my learning my eternal good sense pitiful!

Chorus:
But disregards his learning his eternal good sense pitiful
But disregards his learning his eternal good sense pitiful
But disregards his learning his eternal good sense pretty pitiful

Me:
And I can write my signature in idiotic cuneiform
I think my typing's pretty uncharacteristic not the norm
Unsure?, it flatters!, but I've shown all evidence empirical
I am the very master of all errors typographical

Chorus:
Unsure?, it flatters?, but he's shown all evidence empirical
He is the very master of all errors typographical

Me:
A fact, well I know what is meant by lowercase and UPPERCASE
But when it comes to using prepositions I'm a basketcase
With much despair reporting that suprise I'm quite illiterate
And that I know I'll never be an honored Nobel Laureate

Well I tend to put a lot of things inside of parentheses
I haven't fiqured out how to correctly use apostrophes
A dork, when I got splattered in the grade school level spelling bees..
I'll say the English section overall score lowered SATs

Chorus:
He'll say the English section overall score lowered SATs
He'll say the English section overall score lowered SATs
He'll say the English section overall score lowered essay SATs

Me:
Poor's my literary knowledge, I've covered this so thoroughly
Has only been lampooned from the beginning of the parody
But still, some doubters, and so I now type it all in capital*
I AM THE VERY MASTER OF ALL ERRORS TYPOGRAPHICAL !

Chorus:
Instilled, no doubters, and so he now types it all in capital
HE IS THE VERY MASTER OF ALL ERRORS TYPOGRAPHICAL !
Copyright 2005 Red Ant. SATs is pronounced as 3 syllables. No CTS yet but... *This wouldn't look too well singing it. Imagine a PoP play with this line. PS- Good thing that you people cannot see my handwriting, it's worse than my typing skills...

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 48

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   3
 1
 2
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   7
 4
 4
 
 5   37
 42
 41
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dee Range - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well done, Red Ant. Here are 555 bottles of white out for your mistakes. And I can REALLY relate to this.
John Barry - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I love it!
Kristof Robertson - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Sterling job you've done on this one, Antman....555
Rick C - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Yu Dun Gud! 555
AFW - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
I didn't spot no type-o's here...Fantastical Jobical!...fiveical..
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job on your 100th. Catches the REVERSED spirit of that Addams Family (the cartooned series) episode where Gomez is depressed because everything is way too easy for him and he has never failed in anything and feels that life is no challenge anymore and just plain boring. So he sets out to deliberatelly loose all his money by buying worthless stock and land etc only to see the companies sky rocket and oil/gold to found on his new swamp properties, later on finally realises he has badly failed in his attempts to reach loserdom, thus actually become one. (Did that make ANY sense at ALL?). :-)
Meriadoc - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
A very prolix effort and not a 'postrophe out of place... :-)
Red Ant - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Dee! John: Kristof~Rick+ AFW_@ Peter. About the story Peter, I think I got it. ;)
Red Ant - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Darn, I type slowly. Thanks Meriadoc! There HAS to be a typo in here somewhere though, if not an incorrectly used word
MrMacphisto - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
This was punctuated with style. 5,5,5
Adagio - June 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Wanna compare handwriting "skills"? I cn't even read my own handwriting, which is why I try to type everthing. At least the mistakes are legible. Very funny 5's
Red Ant - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks MrMacphisto. Adagio, I may post a pic on inthe00s.com to show you how bad I suck. Thanks for the vote.
Lee - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Great idea, and some really excellent stuff. There are some pacing issues where the syllable count matches but the accent stresses are a bit too far off, but I won't wreck the 555 you have going. 454
Offender - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Wow.
Stuart McArthur - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
you tackled it and you conquered it, Red Ant - you've earned yourself a breather - great way to bring up the century - 555
Michael Pacholek - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Congradulations on reeching the cenchury mark. Not that I ever have to wirry about tipografical erors.
Red Ant - June 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Lee, Offender, Stuart and Michael.
Rich Kapalin - July 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Grate jobb, eye wuz verry immpresed whith yure yuse ov wordz!
Red Ant - July 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Rich Kapalin.
Johnny D - July 04, 2005 - Report this comment
How'd I miss this back in June? It's INKREDIBBAL !!!! Great job, Red Ant, 5's all the way.
Red Ant - July 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D.
Dumb Ass Kid - July 06, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Jeenyus is the only word for it 555
Red Ant - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Dumb Ass Kid.
Leo Jay - July 07, 2005 - Report this comment
[SOTM] Very clever, some great rhymes.
Red Ant - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Leo Jay.
Arwen - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--I always have a great deal of respect for the kids who can throw down a parody to this OS...and this one was very funny! Nice work!
Mike (Mike Armstrong) - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Good stuff, I like the creative rhyming - impressive
Charlie Decker - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Clever stuff. 555
Red Ant - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Arwen, Mike Armstrong and Charlie Decker.
Dee Range - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...See above...still excellent, Red nat :-))
Agrimorfee - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM--very good, a twister of the tongue, indeed.
Dr. Bob - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
cant find the words to describe this song. maybe cause im tired. maybe cause its just that good. very well done.
Jeff Reuben - July 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Excellent job, with an exclamation point! A great effort here, one of your best.
Zerla - July 15, 2005 - Report this comment
SDOTM I mean, SOTM
Red Ant - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Dee Range (agen): Agrimorfee: Dr. Bob: Jeff Reuben:; & Zerla.
Kristof Robertson - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is still one of your best, RA
Rick C - July 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Commented above but, didn't say anything. Masterfully written! Bravo Red Ant and congrats on 100....555
Stuart McArthur - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) that's a hoot, Red Ant - the self-deprecation works a treat, and some GREAT lines - 555
Spaff.com - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Congrats on reaching 100 in style, Red. My fave bits are "unorthodox/my point across," "uppercase/basket case," and the line "And I can write my signature in idiotic cuneiform." I'd like to hear Alice in Chains do this one.
Johnny D - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Tim Mayfield - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can't believe I didn't comment already. I thinc thiss won is aughsum!!! 5's
Ethan Mawyer - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Not a siongle typographocal error in this pone i see. If it wasn't so long i might adoopt this as my semi-official thjeme song. 555
Phil Alexander - July 29, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I'd commented on this one already: I can remember reading it when it came out. Super stuff, and remarkably quick to the 100.
2nz - July 30, 2005 - Report this comment
I'll start with the few things that I didn't like to get 'em out of the way. it's not that your pacing was off, but the way accents work in parts of your parody made me lose the rhythm of the song on several occasions.

Actually that's pretty much all I can complain about. Well-handled subject, excellent rhyme scheme and really funny too.
Mikey Squirrel - July 31, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM.. Red Ant.. bravo! You managed to rhyme so well, and it's bloody hilarious. 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - August 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I second 2nz on the imabic stressing of the song, but nonetheless a very enjoyable read with nice rhyming, as usual.
Mr X - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
IDKTOS but think its a grate concpet.
Dominic L. - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Out of curiosity, how long did it take to type this? 5's.
Red Ant - August 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof, Rick C, Stuart, Spaff, Johnny D, Phil Alexander, 2nz, Mikey Squirrel, Luke Brattoni, Mr X, and Dominic L.

To answer a few comments here:

Kristof: It was your comment and an unintentional typo I made on "English is illogical !" that got this parody idea started. Thanks for mentioning "punctuation".=)

Stuart: I had to struggle beyond belief to come up with something other than "I Suck" ad nauseum to shamelessly rip myself here.

Spaff: If this were 1990 and Layne were still alive and in his prime no doubt he could sing it, probably in 5 breaths.

Ethan: A bit of irony on that point which I was hoping would get noticed, but I believe I slaughted the usage of commas here. At least the apostrophes escaped unharmed

2nz and Luke: Thanks for pointing out the stressing issues. Next time I tackle this OS I'll try to get that right. =)

Dominic L: Well, I can't remember right now but way too long.

Thanks for all the rhymes mentions as well, it literally took me hours to find something close to "Heliogabulous" (really so fabulous),"(of)Caracticus's" (uncharacteristic)and "peculiarities" that fit the scheme of the parody.
JUNE 2005 SONG OF THE MONTH BRONZE MEDAL - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=3009.0;id=7405;image
Red Ant - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Johnny D for the medal posting. Thanks as well Tim Mayfield, missed you earlier.
Jacqui Graham - January 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I am a Gilbert and Sullivan fan and the wife of an English professor, so when I saw your title and the song being parodied, I had to look. I was not disappointed! You took an extremely difficult (almost impossible) original and came up with a very decent parody. I write songs and song parodies, so I can appreciate the amount of work that went into this one. My husband is going to have a good laugh over this. He teaches Adult Basic Ed and English 101 in a community college, and despairs over his students' lack of concern about spelling and grammar. In this computer era, yo, 2 ez 2 use lingo, n why need write gd, eh? rotflmao GTG, TTFN, (((hug)))
Red Ant - January 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Jacqui. I recognize the IM speak, though I'm at a loss as to what TTFN means.
Cat - February 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant, I can't believe nobody noticed the one typo that was (intentionally?) put in, that is, "I haven't fiQured out..." with the Q instead of the G. Sorry about that. I kind of have a reputation for being a good proofreader, and I can't stand it when I myself misuse spelling or grammar. Another worthy MG parody. =) Oh yeah, and TTFN is Ta Ta For Now.
Red Ant - February 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Cat, and that typo was unintentional (as was "suprise"). I suppose I should look into using a spell-checker some day.
Agrimorfee - March 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTY05) see above
Claude Prez - March 24, 2006 - Report this comment
See above..................just kidding; my first time here. Excellent stuff, I can see why it did so well. Very clever.
Spaff.com - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm still very impressed, Jack, at the way you hit the century mark with such style.
Red Ant - April 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Agrimorfee, Claude, and Spaff.
Harry - January 16, 2007 - Report this comment
I'm sorry to say this, but you split an infinitive near the end: it should be "correctly to use apostrophes" (though that sounds strange), not "to correctly use apostrophes". Apart from that, though, I loved it.
Ash - March 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Perfect

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