Frosty, the “Snow” Man, leaned against a street light pole
An antenna pipe and a bit of crack:
You could buy a “rock” ‘n roll!
Frosty, the Snow Man: fresh Colombian each day
Product from Peru; luggage: smuggled through; brings it into USA

There's millions in that magic sin
It makes the broads abound
Just snort and place it on your "head"
You're the biggest stud around! [1]

So, Frosty, the Snow Man
Was as rich as he could be
Since it's "not OK", there's no tax to pay [2]
Leaving more for you and me

Bumpitty hump rump
Thumpetty: jump rump
Look at Frosty go
Sucking each chump; dump --
-- Tons of dough, plump, thump
Paying big bills for "snow"

Frosty, the Snow Man, knew the "heat" was out that day
So he stashed a ton and he hid his gun
So to not get put away
Careful of spillage, [3]
'Cause the fumes, thick, feel so grand
Sells without a care to peeps ev'rywhere
'Spite of 1914 ban [4]

They took him down: he sold a pound --
-- To undercover cop
As they fired, caused a ruckus when --
-- It went, "Snap!" Crack'll pop! [5]

So Frosty, the Snow Man
For a while, disappears
"By my lawyer's soul
"I will make parole
"And be out in 'couple years”

Humpitty hump hump
Prison yard: jump chump
Frosty’s turn to "blow"...
Back at the street light
Dealers, replete: night
Selling refills of "snow" [6]




[1] Like all other fooTnoTes, this one is dull, boring, pedantic, and not worth reading, so skip it.

Cocaine, like other members of the "caine" family -- Novocaine (dental anaesthetic), Benzocaine (local painkiller, e. g., for sunburn or burns), Lidocaine, Michael Caine, Candy Caine, etc. -- is a local anaesthetic, reducing all sensation in the area in which applied to the skin. But inhaled or smoked, it is a powerful stimulant (increases both dopamine, the "pleasure hormone", or "neurotransmitter", and norepinephrine, the "energy hormone"). So if you both inhale it and put a wee touch on your not-so-wee- ..... Do the math. (Result: The "Caine" Mutiny :-). Hint: Those four-hour-long things that the E.D. commercials always warn you about? Hah! See Lionel Ritchie's song, "All Night Long".

See? Told ya it wasn't worth reading. (From diligent study only, not personal knowledge.)

[2] [soapbox] One more downside of other-than-alcohol Prohibition: The vast amount of tax revenue lost by driving the business underground, leaving more tax for us peons to pay. [/soapbox ... sorry.]

[3] At about USD $3,000 per ounce ($110 per gram) throughout most of the US and Europe, hitting a record high in New Zealand of more than USD $700/g ($20,000/oz), uh, no, nobody wants to spill any. (cf. Woody Allen's famous sneeze in 1977 flic "Annie Hall", said to be unscripted, but kept in for the resulting laughs. Trivia: Co-star Diane Keaton's real name is Diane Hall, and her nickname was "Annie".)

See? *Told ya* they're not worth reading.

[4] This isn't boring, it's *too disgusting* to read: Racism was a factor in the banning of cocaine.

"In 1914, Dr. Christopher Koch of Pennsylvania’s State Pharmacy Board made the racial innuendo explicit, testifying that, “Most of the attacks upon the white women of the South are the direct result of a cocaine-crazed Negro brain.” Mass media manufactured an epidemic of cocaine use among African Americans in the Southern United States to play upon racial prejudices of the era, though there is little evidence that such an epidemic actually took place. In the same year, the Harrison Narcotics Tax Act outlawed the sale and distribution of cocaine in the United States. This law incorrectly referred to cocaine as a narcotic, and the misclassification passed into popular culture. As stated above, cocaine is a stimulant, not a narcotic."

Geez, can't the Governement get *anything* right? ... and these idiots who don't know the difference between a narcotic and a stimulant are the ones to whom we're supposed to entrust our health care?

[5] "Crack cocaine" is a solid, smokable form of cocaine that can be made using baking soda. The onomatopoeic name comes from the cracking sound made by impurities when the stuff is heated. (or "popping" sound; hence the Rice Krispies™ reference)

[6] With that kind of money involved? Bet on it. (Arrest one, and ... )

For anyone interested, the same arguments were made against cannabis prohibition in this parody and that one.