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Song Parodies -> "The Gun That I Carry"

Original Song Title:

"The Girl That I Marry"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"The Gun That I Carry"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

NRA Executive VP Wayne Lapierre recently said that "The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun" and recommended a guard in every public school. Here is my portrait of one aspiring candidate for guarding public spaces, changing the words of the idealistic young single man in TOS.
The gun that I carry will have to be
Fired often, sans blinking, till error-free.
The gun I call my own
Will snare rats in grand places that spell "gun-free zone."

My skills will be polished to splinter hair,
Won't share lock-guard secrets with my au pair.
'Stead of sittin', I'll be hittin'
Chest of scurryin' cur, strikes a-quittin'.

In malls I can parry; the girls bad guys harry trust me.

Libs failed to abolish with spin and flair;
They'd pare an Amendment with wily scare.
States are splittin' while we're gittin'
Exec orders, interring lead spittin'.

If all rights can't carry, we'll curtailed Americans be.

With balls, guys shan't tarry with churls that Americans see.

Chinese proverb (undocumented):
"The gun wise man carry deter blast by daring dust flea."

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.9
How Funny: 2.9
Overall Rating: 2.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   1
 1
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
BJM - Well said. What REALLY adds to this is that TOS comes from Annie Get Your Gun. ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
@OMR: Thanks; that's not a coincidence. I might parody the title song later.
Malthusian - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
I half-agree with the gun-grabbers, believe it or not: all leftards deserve to be disarmed and completely defenseless when some nutjob goes off his meds and starts shooting. That's one of the many ways nature weeds out leftards.
Barry J. Mitchel - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
@Malthusian: Would that group include 111 voters who don't comment?
Old Man Ribber - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
BJM - No, you took the bullet today only because I didn't submit anything. ;D
Timmy - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
555 from me; controversial but well written and nice pick on the OS
Patrick - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
This is going to be a contentious issue for a long time to come. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun. And the only thing that will take away the people's guns are other people with guns.
Dave W. - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
The gun is indeed a double edge sword - ( modern American proverb ) also undocumented
Barry J. Mitchel - January 21, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, all, and kudos to Patrick for the corollary about neutralizing guns.
Dave, wasn't that "He who lives by the sword dies by it" (with cold fingers)?

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