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Song Parodies -> "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Original Song Title:

"New York, New York"

Original Performer:

Frank Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

I express the frustrations of gay men in the US military who must conceal their gender identity to avoid discharge. I leave the problems that would arise from lifting this ban to another parody. TOS lyrics from the musical "On The Town" have irregular meter that I followed, but I switched the second and third stanzas and varied the fourth refrain for continuity.
Don't ask, don't tell, passed from Clinton on down! [1]
You just shut up and they'll keep you around.
There's no gay pride, you'll be scolded if found.
Don't ask, don't tell, can't have fun on the town! [2]

The Mideast places we visit are so zany,
Don't like guys who're gay;
I know my grandpa wouldn't kiss any in bygone day.
Gotta read the polls, clown,
From Fr'isco on down to L.A., here's what they say.

Don't ask, don't tell, passed from Clinton on down,
You just shut up and they'll keep you around.
There's no gay pride, you'll be scolded if found.
Don't ask, don't tell, can't have fun on the town!

Man, Afghan women are not dressed for pattin', so the fellows say;
There's just one thing necessary in man-frattin',
When you can trust one gay.
Gotta stick up your mate, baby, heaven can't wait;
Try our way of just-fun play.

Don't ask, don't tell, passed from Clinton on down,
You just shut up and they'll keep you around.
There's no gay pride, you'll be scolded if found.
Don't ask, don't tell, can't have fun on the town!

We veiled to please and said we'd quit a-pokin', stay in manly way.
We'll walk those streets till the wars are over
If we can safely say, "Our most fabulous right is two-fork," [3]
In the light of day, we will be gay.

Don't ask, don't tell, it's been too long around,
But donkey's up [4] and they're batting it down.
We'll feel inside that our souls are unbound;
Just ask, we'll tell, and have fun on the town!
[1] The DADT policy dates to 1993.
[2] Must pretend to be straight.
[3] A double-entendre if there ever was one.
[4] The liberal Democrats are in power.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   4
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
"2 fork" would be better than "two-fork" before footnote [3].
Old Man Ribber - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Excellent job on the "lesser known" New York, New York. "Real wit has truth in it. Wisecracking is merely verbal gymnastics"...Dorothy Parker. ;D
Fiddlegirl - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
A tricky OS indeed! Well done... although variation in the 2nd and 3rd refrains would have boosted it to pretty darn-near perfect... :D vote: 544
Christie Marie M - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
I agree with all the comments above! Nothing gay about this song! Don't ask, but I'll tell people to give you 555's!

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