Dirty seats, faded lining

Cassette's broke, kids are whining

Can't watch DVDs

The country you'll see

Driving in an old brown mini-van



Wife is peeved, kids are snotty

Make me stop to go potty

We'll find a rest stop

And maybe we'll shop
,
Driving in an old brown mini-van



In Missouri we'll drive through a cornfield,

Maryland it's okay to have crabs

North Dakota has a famous porn wheel

Idaho potatoes are up for grabs



Grinding brakes, exposed wires,

A/C's broke, we perspire

I brought Royal Crown

For when we break down,

Driving in an old brown mini-van



If the kids keep asking "Are we there yet?"

I'll just say that it's not too far now

Can't believe how much it put me in debt

Lugging my whole family around



"Ain't this fun, am I lying?

No more noise, stop your crying

You make one more sound, I'll turn us around"

Driving in an old brown mini-van

Oh great it's a cop
Now we have to stop
Driving in an old brown mini-van