Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson

Ahem.. Excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the viewers
for one second?

Hi Kids! Do you like Ned Flanders? (Yeah yeah yeah!)
Wanna see me throw KFC chicken at him, courtesy of Colonel Sanders?
(Uh-huh!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Try and make Flanders life worse than mine is? (Huh?)
My brain's a small noose, I'm trying to get my head loose
but I can't figure out which Donut Shop I want to choose
(Ummmm....Donuts....)
And Dr. Hibbert said, "There's nothing physically wrong!"
Uh-Hehe! "So why can't you choose which shop? Man you dumb!"
Well since age twelve, I've always been raising hell
Cause I was always looking for beer money or something I could sell.
Got pissed off and ripped all my hair off
And then sat in my room and cracked out a can of duff.
I drink more than six beers at Moe's, that's usually how it goes
talking with ma' friends about Marge and my former Vegas wife and her
ho's
C'mere slut! (Homer, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a toss she's hot, Moe give Barney and I another shot!

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson

My Employer, Mr. Burns, doesn't even know my name
Thanks a lot, next meltdown I'll be the one to blame
I yelled out my name in his security camera, crying out with all my
stamina
and swinging a bat at him like I was Yogi Bear (GRrrrrrrr!)
Broke into his office, had my spray can
Flashed my name, then Burns was yelling like a mad man
Smithers, running' around too
in the office while Burns' screaming at me: "WHO THE DEVIL ARE YOU!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my father has as much brains as I do (D'OH!)
I told him I'd grow up to be a famous character
Make a name for myself in hopes of having my face on a bumper sticker
(Wo-whoo!)
You know your popular when the fans do your tricks
and try to imitate your voice like some sort of impressionist
(Aaaahhhhhh!)
This guy at the Kwik E Mart asked for my autograph
(Oh kind sir, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'Dear Apu, thanks for the moldy food, SUCKER!!'

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson

Stop the show! This cartoon can't be thrown away! (Get it!)
Dr. Hibbert, don't just stand there, MAKE WAY!
I'm not ready to leave, the ratings are too high (Wo-whoo!)
I'll still have to stay and eat my leftover blueberry pie
(MMmm... Pie....) Am I employed or fired? My producers can't decide
I just drank a fifth of Duff vodka -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)
All my life I was very confined
I ain't had a woman in years, and soon peeked a look at Marge's behind
(Whoops!) Blue hair standing up like swaying bush (Whoosh)
I whine when I talk, I'll stare at anything and gawk (Woww....)
When I'm on the show, Bart always gets me in a fiddle
BART!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING BOY? (Ahhh!)
WHY YOU LITTLE!.....(Arrrgh!) I usually don't make a lot of planning'
This one time I tried to prove myself by standing in front of a cannon
(BANG!)
I'm still alive chum (Wo-whoooo!)
And by the way when you see Dredrick Tatum? (Yeah?)
Tell him that even though he decked me in the head I'm still alive ya bum!

Hi! My name is... (What?) My name is... (Who?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson
Hi! My name is... (Huh?) My name is... (What?)
My name is... (Scratches) Homer J. Simpson