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Song Parodies -> "John Boehner Regrets (O's unable to speak Wednesday)"

Original Song Title:

"Miss Otis Regrets (she's unable to lunch today)"

Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"John Boehner Regrets (O's unable to speak Wednesday)"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

When first I heard TOS decades ago, I was surprised that a polite apology for absence could follow detention for a crime. Recently, communiques both ways along Pennsylvania Avenue have been polite, masking the dispute over a certain date and time to gather for a speech after supper (and a stiff drink).
John Boehner regrets, he can't stable [1] the House Wednesday, Barack.
John Boehner suggests, he can stable the House Thursday.
He is sorry for the delay,
But that evening your opponents have their say, Barack. [2]
John Boehner regrets that from cable you're scratched Wednesday.

When O woke up and found that his dream to shove them (like Saddam)
Was panned by the man who had led Congress in debt fray
To come sunder o'erspending clown,
Jay Carney spun and haughtily put down (sad ham);
John Boehner forgets that O's fables can't punt one day. [3]

Then the jobs report got worse; you'd bragged to no avail, Barack.
In stimulus con, untold billions were tossed away; [4]
And though knowing we were denied,
You lifted up big government and lied, Barack.
John Boehner regrets, he can't table [5] the House Wednesday.

John Boehner suggests, he can table the House Thursday. [6]
[1] stable (v.t.) to bring together in order to keep or confine (including Senators in this case)
[2] Republican candidates debate at the Reagan Library.
[3] MSNBC's Ed Schultz fumed that this meant Republicans cared nothing about the unemployed.
[4] Most of the funds went to preserve jobs in state and local governments and unions.
[5] table (v.t.) to suspend legislative debate or action (for a presidential address in this case).
[6] ... at 7 PM EDT, to avoid conflicting with the NFL game (but not Wednesday's debate).

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

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 5   3

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - Behold the power of football. I remember our church cancelling a potluck dinner because it conflicted with Super Bowl I. I am reminded of Ned Beatty's speech to Peter Finch in Network. But I digress...I love it when a Machievellian (misspelled?) scheme is exposed and defeated. ;D
BJM - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, OMR. My church celebrates Souperbowl Sunday (foodbank) on that day. I'm sorry I never saw Network. I agree that BHO embodies "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli who hoped to strengthen Italy in 1513.
My reference to Saddam (rhymed with madam in TOS) was an error. Bush got him; Obama got Osama bin Laden.

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