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Song Parodies -> "Let's Do It (Let's Eat Fresh Flesh)"

Original Song Title:

"Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"Let's Do It (Let's Eat Fresh Flesh)"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

Americans have been advised for several decades to reduce their intake of meat, fish and eggs, at first for their health, then to allow the world's poor to eat, and recently to save this planet from global warming (oops, climate change). The vegetarian diet now has morphed into the Vegan. But Homo Sapiens historically has been an omnivore, with a digestive system properly adapted for both fauna and flora. Moreover, as nature films continue to reveal the culinary habits of wild creatures, we learn that many species eat others until they are eaten. So I adapted TOS by Cole Porter to question why our species should feel guilt for refusing to adopt the politically correct diet.
Wolves do it, lynx do it.
Undomesticated minks do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.

It's plain, the best household pets do it.
Vegetarians on bets do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.

The clutch in old beaver dams do it,
Not to mention the fox.
Elks in a jam do it;
Drinking, eye out for crocs!

Some peregrines, eagles, hawks do it.
People say in cages fighting cocks do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.

Atlantic tuna, they say, do it.
Turtles found in any bay do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.

Hyenas drool, play it cool, do it
When the lions are full.
Whales flick their tails, do it
When they find a big school.

Cold mountain rams, 'gainst all odds, do it;
Even brazen arthropods do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.

Electric eels for hot meals do it,
Though it shocks 'em to glow.
Why ask if seals do it?
Wait for Spring on pad floe.

In shallow holes even moles do it.
Grizzly bears in hibernating lairs do it.
Let's do it, let's eat fresh flesh.
As the late great Julia Child ended each episode of "The French Chef" on Boston's WGBH television in the 1960s, "Bone appetit!"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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BJM - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Maybe Julia said "Bone happy T"; I didn't understand French.
You may change "tuna, they say," to "dolphins at play" but not "any bay" to "Turtle Bay" (UN HQ in NYC).
AFW - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
I think you have the raw answer to the future survival of humanity...current world conditions indicate "Fear Factor" time may be sooner than we think....A good gritty parody, here
Patrick - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
AFW. If that scenario occurs the result will be like that movie "The Road", where the only thing the survivors have left to eat is each other. I've seen rabbits eat meat when it was offered to them.
Old Man Ribber - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
BJM - True "Red Meat" for the carnivore! They'll get my flesh when they pry it out of my cold dead hand. Nicely done. ;D
BJM - March 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks to 3 commenters and 2 voters so far.
A chart on p. A5 of today's Wall Street Journal shows that US per capita flesh consumption was 110 # in 1940, rose to 180 # by 1978 and now is near 200 #. Chicken grew strongly all 70 years while beef boomed until 1978 and has fallen since. Pork was flat and seafood grew but remained small.
Dana Mathewson - March 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Oh, Barry, my friend, this may be your best yet! I'd hoist a glass to you but it's way too early -- we'll have to be satisfied with coffee (a nice Sumatran Reserve). To anyone who tries to convert me to vegetarianism, I always make the old familiar reply "I didn't rise to the top of the food chain to ignore the tastiest part of it." Incidentally, the main reason giant pandas are doing so poorly in the wild is their diet -- their digestive systems are designed for meat, and meat only. Bamboo comes out the other end still looking pretty much like bamboo, having left behind very little nourishment. (see Stephen Jay Gould) I'm trying not to make that mistake.
BJM - March 09, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, DM, for your special insights about those "cuddly" creatures. ;-)

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