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Song Parodies -> "Smoking in New York"

Original Song Title:

"Autumn in New York"

Original Performer:

Ella Fitzgerald

Parody Song Title:

"Smoking in New York"

Parody Written by:

Barry J. Mitchel

The Lyrics

After the controversy generated by my previous parody on the proposed outdoor smoking ban, I hesitated to do another. But there's no better OS for the start of Fall, when the smell of burning tree leaves ... Oops, that's banned too. First, they came for the soft coal ...
Smoking in New York --
Why does it seem so exciting?
Smoking in New York
Is swell, the thrill of igniting.

Twittering crowds banned simmering shrouds, [1]
Sin beyond appeal. [2]
I'm making each meal at home. [3]

It's smoking in New York
That brings the coughing that few love.
Smoking in New York
Is lofty fingers with stain.

Smokers with empty hands
May sigh for black-market brands
For smoking in New York;
It's good to shiv those tax men.

Smoke one in New York
On steaming rooftops at sundown;
"O" smoke rings in New York
Are drifting uptown and downdown.

Yes, faded roues and gray divorcees
Who munch fat-free Ritz [4]
Will tell you that wits decline.

"No smoking" in New York
Transforms my gums, spins new gray hair.
Go smoking, leave New York;
You'll feed through fast drive-in lane. [4]

Best lovers that press that spark
On their wenches in Central Park
Treat smoking in New York
As good as living in sin. [5]
[1] Shroud = paper wrapper around tobacco leaves.
[2] Appeal in criminal court.
[3] The fate of those who smoke after eating.
[4] This twits the food police.
[5] Unmarried cohabitation likewise secretly evades the law.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.7

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Barry J. Mitchel - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
In the fourth stanza, "buy more" is better than "sigh for" to highlight the high cigarette tax.
Old Man Ribber - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
But how will they make up for the lost source of revenue from the cigarette tax? Nicely done as usual. ;D
Barry J. Mitchel - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
OMR: Thanks. Liberals never foresee the unintended consequences.
In the fifth stanza, "one" should be " 'em" (plural). Who remembers the "O"s blown from 1950s billboards before tobacco advertising failed the First Amendment test?
Dana Mathewson - September 23, 2010 - Report this comment
One of the all-time great songs! And considering the environment created by Nanny Bozoberg these days, it makes one almost -- ALMOST -- want to take up the habit. Great job, Barry -- as always.

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